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smithmountainflake.bsky.social
Good gracious/ass is quite spacious
33 posts 115 followers 476 following
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Posts 40 Comments 9

Why, yes, I am hungover and watching the 1995 MTV Video Music Awards on YouTube why do you ask?

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

You gotta understand the difference between the Eagles being up big on the Chiefs and the Falcons being up big on the Pats is that those were, and I cannot stress this enough, the Atlanta Falcons

submitted 22 days ago • 38 comments

(Bryan Cranston voiceover) Huggies is redefining the very meaning of leak protection…through the power of AI

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Shocking but hardly surprising that Fox Sports is putting Cleatus The NFL Robot front and center in its Super Bowl coverage despite his extremely well-documented actions on January 6. That's the country we live in now.

submitted 22 days ago • 25 comments

I’m about sick and tired of being such a fucking fool.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

"At 39%, this 2011 sequel holds the lowest score for a Pixar film on Rotten Tomatoes, but it's perhaps more infamous for one theatergoer's unfortunate incident involving beans."

submitted 25 days ago • 8 comments

You: "Hey Jeff, what are some bangers where they only mention the song title ONCE and it's the LAST line of the song." Me (finishing third cup of coffee): Just Like Heaven - The Cure Up the Junction - Squeeze Running to Stand Still - U2

submitted 23 days ago • 13 comments

Much more hammer use this week

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

Holy lord

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

Dueting Fairytale of New York with my ventriloquist dummy Boe Jiden and he's hitting that F-slur really hard and adding a couple of extra ones to boot. I don't approve but it is Christmas after all and the people at the bus stop seem to be digging it.

submitted 89 days ago • 1 comment

All I’m saying is that Joe Biden could use some law to allow me to live rent free for the rest of my life and yet he refuses

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

You dunk your Wendy’s fries in your frosty. I dip mine in Wendy’s chili. We are not the same.

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

[to lifeguard for second time in same day] thank you

submitted 97 days ago • 5 comments

After a hard day at work, I am going to go home, kick back, and be super anxious.

submitted 110 days ago • 4 comments

it would be so funny if this is how his presidency ended. months before his term ends, he just walks into the rainforest and is never seen again

submitted 106 days ago • 410 comments

Me: I guess you could say you're getting a little..........long in the tooth lol Dracula: Oh my God, dude. Find literally anything else to joke about. Are you recording this for TikTok?

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 107 days ago • 4 comments

This wasn’t the bawitdaba we wanted but this was the bawitdaba we deserve

submitted 108 days ago • 5 comments

I'll give it to Jake Paul, he knows how to bore the fuck out of a crowd with a bad entrance

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

Chili cheese fries with onions and jalapeños

submitted 114 days ago • 0 comments

College gameday guy talking about how Colorado added grit and “girth” to the offensive line. Love to see girth used in the wild.

submitted 114 days ago • 0 comments

Does nobody in the world remember that a Gabby Giffords, a sitting American member of congress, was shot in the head just over a decade ago? And that Steve Scalise was shot in 2017? I get that we're all scared but calling this unprecedented is just irresponsible and wrong.

submitted 233 days ago • 27 comments

I smoked Lucky Strikes for decades and I never got any miles or cash, but I did get esophageal cancer.

submitted 401 days ago • 0 comments

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are on the road to Wrestlemania” - this guy on the wrestling show who won’t stop yapping on and on about wrestling and wrestlers.

submitted 401 days ago • 0 comments

Drinking diet Dr. Pepper because I’m a stupid asshole idiot

submitted 401 days ago • 0 comments

Your local, across the street bodega/gas station/connivence store is THE place to go for old/hard as fuck sour patch kids

submitted 401 days ago • 0 comments

If you’re looking for a thug at an unbeatable price, I know a place

submitted 401 days ago • 0 comments

This dog living better than me

submitted 408 days ago • 0 comments

Daydrinking at this dive bar watching a young Harrison Ford in this Gunsmoke episode they got showing on the TV.

submitted 410 days ago • 1 comment

Why my dog be licking electrical outlets?

submitted 414 days ago • 0 comments

I got my Necronomicon 20% off at the occult bookstore because the human skin cover had a few buttholes.

submitted 415 days ago • 1 comment

Both hungover and sick so I did the sensible thing and ordered 30 dollars worth of Taco Bell

submitted 415 days ago • 0 comments

the sound you hear is a thousand truck nuts clanging against the tailgate — a new alabama head coach has been selected

submitted 416 days ago • 0 comments

Sick drunk which is technically the best drunk

submitted 416 days ago • 0 comments

[hands corn maze guy $50] make sure I never come out

submitted 501 days ago • 24 comments

butcher: number 69 me: lol butcher: lol ok ok what’ll it be buddy me: pound of hard salami butcher: LOL me: lmao

submitted 506 days ago • 0 comments

“no girls allowed” are girls even trying to get into your fort bro

submitted 506 days ago • 7 comments

I know they did a "We Didn't Start the Fire" parody years ago already, but digging through my old notebooks I found my Simpsons parody of "We Didn't Start the Fire" that covers seasons 1-8. Still need a chorus though

submitted 506 days ago • 1 comment

colorado weeks 1-3 vs colorado weeks 4-5

submitted 520 days ago • 12 comments

🎶 Five Guys Burgers and Fries Drove my Chevy to the levee Filled the Chevy with fries

submitted 521 days ago • 2 comments