smokingmonkey.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

A very Merry Apocalypse to those that choose to celebrate

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

June 20, Virginia, Still no cicadas. To be honest I don’t know when they “normally” show up. It’s weird how one day you just notice that you hear them, but can’t recall when they started. Anyhow it “feels” like they are later than last year. Not a lot of fireflies either

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I put the fun in functional alcoholism. Yay?

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

“What would the republicans do if a democratic president did this?” I am so sick of this question, we all know what they would do. They’d dominate the news cycle, shutdown the government, walk off the congress floor. The real question is why aren’t the Democrats doing these things? #complicit

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

These should be sold at a “higher” price. Thanks folks, you’ve been a great audience, I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waiter and bartender

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

“Nothing is permitted, everything is true” -Some Discordian Bastard, I’m sure

submitted 32 days ago • 2 comments

PSA: As a resident of a rental property you should never, under any circumstances, drain the hot water heater and fill it with lard or vegetable shortening. The resulting damage would be astronomically expensive to fix. Never do this.

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

Dance 10 Looks 3 That ain’t it kid

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Happy Towel Day you hoopy froods that choose to celebrate Or whatever

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Department of Government Efficiency has 32 letters, which strikes me as inefficient Dept Govt Effy There that’s better. So much efficient. Get bent

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Just saw my first firefly of the year

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

What’s that word for when someone treats something completely imaginary as if it were not only meaningful but actually real? Religion, art, philosophy, magic, reality, delusion, marvel, Star Wars, lotr. Which thought did you immediately jump to?

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

Bagels are too tough for sandwiches and brioche is too delicate for hamburgers Hot dogs should never be served with a bun. On account of The Original Snub dontcha know Don’t know where I was going with this. Fuck it. Post

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

I have always been, and will remain, a heretic

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

It is worth trying to internalize that you will frequently be forced to reap what someone else has sown This will always suck #TarAndFeatherTheBastards

submitted 76 days ago • 0 comments

In 2023 four countries accounted for 98% of the world's cinnamon production, a total of 238,403 tonnes: China, Vietnam, Indonesia, and Sri Lanka. America imports 100% of the cinnamon we use #ThisTooShallSuck

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

I buy my coffee beans from a local family owned roaster. They have been in business for 50 years, I have been getting my coffee there for nearly 20 years. In the last 3 months the price of a pound of coffee has doubled. And I just found out that they will no longer be able to get my favorite beans

submitted 79 days ago • 2 comments

Today marks 160 years since the insurrectionist Robert Lee surrendered to General Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox. Effectively marking the end of the American Slaver Rebellion.

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

Everyone calling what is happening “chaos” is letting their bias show What’s happening is “destructive order”. But it looks like evil, so people call it chaos. Because they think: order = good & chaos = evil. It is evil, but it’s not chaos. It is destructive order Destruction is the plan

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

Me at the protest

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

Bedknobs and Boomsticks: in which Ash is sent by the Necronomicon Ex Morits to the English countryside during the Battle of Britain. Where he stops a local witch and her child slaves from raising an army of Deadites. Accidentally allowing the Nazis to conquer England. Jump scares and hilarity ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

President Joe Biden has a quest to give you

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

I didn’t expect The Substance to go that hard at the end. Straight up gore horror schlock I quite enjoyed that

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

Streaming music is wage theft Buy the album, pay the artist #FuckSpotify

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

Wrap your brain around this: The United States if America was begun by an oligarchical rebellion of sorts

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Balls Nasty.

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

What are YOU doing today to advance the objectives of OM? To be clear: Now less then ever before OM has no need of, nor desire to receive the assistance of someone like you. Which in turn makes your participation absolutely vital to its continued success - The Mgmt

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

Merry Mojoday nerds. Now go out there and curse some Greyfaced sons of bitches Gobble, Gobble Mütherföckers #HailEris #Mojoday

submitted 101 days ago • 1 comment

Black House Aide #2: Oh, no! There’s a crisis! Quick, Bizarro President! Go to sleep! [ Bizarro President drops his head onto his desk and falls alseep ] Black House Aide #1: That was quick Presidential action. What a leader! Black House Aide #2: Him always do exact wrong thing. Him perfect!

submitted 103 days ago • 0 comments

If video games have taught me anything, it’s that trash cans are an excellent source of 9mm rounds

submitted 103 days ago • 0 comments

Good news for bad people

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

Realize that tanking the stonk market is the plan. That’s how they get people to divest their 401ks. Then abolish the federal reserve bank and shutter the FDIC. Bankrupting the bottom 90% and enriching themselves Or maybe not, maybe they are just idiots #TarAndFeatherTheBastards

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

My 20’s were a blur of amazing My 30’s a blur of mundane My 40’s a blur of depression My 50’s so far are insane

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

Dayman is straight up a Ween song. No cap As the kids say

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

It would be extremely funny to me, and not just a wee bit cathartic, if the rest of the world started calling the sport activity pictured below Soccer It’s not football according to literally every other culture on Earth And I t would just piss the red hats off to no end

submitted 114 days ago • 1 comment

Get off of the internet and into the streets.

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

Been to a number of political protests in my day, when did they turn into fucking pep rallies? The messaging sucks, the chants are just dumb, & people dressed up like it’s goddamn spirit week. For fucks sake, this is why the American left loses so goddamn all the time Democracy dies in immaturity

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

submitted 119 days ago • 1 comment

It is absolutely bonkers insane that having NO debt NEGATIVELY impacts your credit score

submitted 121 days ago • 0 comments