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somedankinmycup.bsky.social
He/him 1312
4,965 posts 4,721 followers 7,889 following
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Posts 33 Comments 16

email me an explanation of your posts this week or you’re fired . bring me my big sippy cup or you’re fired. i have all the money in the world. change my diaper or you’re fired

submitted 8 hours ago • 4 comments

TOWN BULLY (NOTICING REACHER): Who’s this, your boyfriend? REACHER (BLOTTING OUT SUN): No,

submitted 8 hours ago • 22 comments

The trolley guy’s been fired. There are no more ethical dilemmas.

submitted 14 hours ago • 3 comments

Why do you keep eating hot wings if it gives you diarrhea? The diarrhea is the point

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

I think we need to eliminate some words from the English language, like rapacious.

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

Lions not sheep? Yeah nothing says not a sheep like wearing someone else’s logo. 👍🏻

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

Umami implies the existence of udadi

submitted 18 hours ago • 6 comments

You know how I know gas station boner pills are safe? Because there is no such thing as Big Gas Station Boner Pills these are just companies are doing this out of passion for boners and I respect that.

submitted 20 hours ago • 2 comments

I’m old enough to remember when bedding didn’t ask such personal questions

submitted 17 hours ago • 8 comments

Burned fingers are temporary, not having to wash the tongs for 5 seconds of moving stuff from the oven tray is eternal.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

At $6 a box, girl scout cookies are cheaper than eggs. I made wise financial decisions today.

submitted 19 hours ago • 3 comments

Unhinge your doors

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

More like Less’s law. Am I right

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

With alt text

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

Coincidentally i also have an easy to use pump

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

I wanna put my hands up on that gargantuan tampapon

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

strapping a man to the front of a crash test dummy bus, getting his cock hard as fuck and then running the bus into some concrete walls, as a prank

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

if someone puts scare-quotes around “genocide” in reference to gaza, you can spike them into the garbage like a football and then ignore them forever

submitted 18 hours ago • 1 comment

My impeccable work ethics bring all the boys to the yard

submitted 23 hours ago • 4 comments

Remember

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

me figuring out this layout then agreeing

submitted 22 hours ago • 6 comments

hurt people, hurt people. hurt them twice

submitted 20 hours ago • 1 comment

I don’t understand how there’s any debate about whether to characterize them as Nazis when they’re out here sieg heiling. It’s an absolute failure of messaging not to name and condemn this behavior, and build a narrative around it.

submitted 18 hours ago • 48 comments

How does a hole even look eager anyway

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

my boyfriend just said he wants to get a bunch of blood transfusions so he can have extra blood and can “be like a gusher”

submitted 20 hours ago • 9 comments

But does the revolution poll well?

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

directions unclear, fan stuck in my dick

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

another fun knock on effect of Not Like Us is I don’t see the Drake meme anymore

submitted 22 hours ago • 23 comments

submitted 22 hours ago • 85 comments

Hey girl wanna come to my D&D party? You know what the D stands for right? 😜 depression.

submitted 22 hours ago • 2 comments

I was worried but now that I know the blue storm is coming I feel so relieved. Brb I’m going to bury my head in a toilet.

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

What idiot named it diarrhea when trauma dump was sitting right there?!

submitted 23 hours ago • 3 comments

theyre sucking me off in the quote skeets

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments