sorenbowie.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

The variation I love most of Fuck, Marry, Kill.

submitted 2 hours ago • 2 comments

i take my daughter to the park, and she runs for the swings. “go way high,” she says—high enough for her butt to leave the seat at the apex and feel that flutter of danger in your stomach when nothing connects you to the ground—which is perfect for me because i'm really good at pushing people away

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

As soon as I find a mantra that works it’s over for you fuckers.

submitted 4 days ago • 8 comments

remembering fondly the historically correct behavior of purchasing a thing with money and never hearing from the seller of the thing again in my life

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Kidnap Brocktoon with me.

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

I would rather not dwell on, or even think about, why my enjoyment of anything in the world is dependent on whether attractive people have also chosen to do it.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I put a little dab of ketchup on every spider I see in case that’s the one I eat in the middle of the night.

submitted 7 days ago • 19 comments

my wound could use a little more salt actually

submitted 8 days ago • 9 comments

All the people who like pineapple on pizza should be rounded up and thrown in an island. A nice island with lots of amenities and beautiful beaches and also I am one of those people.

submitted 8 days ago • 13 comments

Dying and going to Seventh Heaven just to Biel something.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

She had it whitened and now I’m just a shade with eyes unfixed wandering aimlessly through the underworld.

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

I hate that blue raspberry is a flavor. It is adult kryptonite. It takes all the appeal out of stealing my children’s candy.

submitted 9 days ago • 6 comments

“But the fact that I believed the obvious joke was real still says a lot about the state of things!” I say, narrowly maintaining my dignity before walking into the sea.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

This is pornographic.

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

I’ve found that you can tell a lot about a man by the shoes he travels in. For instance, if he wears boots with an upturned pointed toe and a bell at the end, he is likely a jester or an elf of one kind or another.

submitted 10 days ago • 7 comments

On my death bed: “I regret that I didn’t have enough fun [cough cough] playing with the fact that John Mayer said he wanted a girlfriend with ‘The Joshua Tree of vaginas.’”

submitted 11 days ago • 5 comments

There are two wolves in every man and frankly things don’t look good for that dog in me.

submitted 11 days ago • 3 comments

I don’t understand a lot of what’s happening in Severance but I relate to Mark down to my bones when he does 96% of a project and then stops completely.

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

Yes, there are obviously some hiccups on the first day of tariffs and the market is cratering but please try to be a little less short sighted. Consider for a single second that America is currently KILLING every other country in incidence of measles.

submitted 14 days ago • 3 comments

“Mr. Bowie. I will let your family live if you can answer one question correctly: did your children have a bath last night.” “…” “I need an answer.” “I’m thinking! Damnit. There’s no chance you’d rather know first and last names of everyone in my second grade class is there?”

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

americans will do anything to avoid using the metric system

submitted 15 days ago • 6 comments

Doing ads for Squarespace and Bombas Socks at the top of each hour in my filibuster

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

All my cardio comes from exercises in futility.

submitted 135 days ago • 7 comments

I could’ve done a 25 hour filibuster on how the first half of Layla is an undisputed top 10 classic rock song and the second half is unlistenable garbage.

submitted 16 days ago • 8 comments

We’re literally watching overpaid techbros who have spent their sad little lives making online shopping software marginally worse openly, viciously lash out against people who have literally devoted their lives to helping others via humanitarian aid and government. The implications are obvious.

submitted 17 days ago • 22 comments

There’s something so deeply human about the melancholy of a cloudy day, the desperate longing to wander through a graveyard, to slip into a mausoleum with a stranger and do a standing sixty-nine.

submitted 17 days ago • 8 comments

Who do I call if i don’t want any Greenland?

submitted 17 days ago • 4 comments

For all your home projects, come to the Home Depot first. Not looking to build? That’s ok, we also offer wide variety of disgusting lollipops.

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

Words I’ve looked up multiple times, then blacked out while reading the definition and woke up watching a Marvel movie. Milieu Praxis Miasma Inchoate

submitted 18 days ago • 4 comments

Something died inside of me when Trump became president. I’ve been throwing up pellets of fur and tiny bones ever since. My breath is horrendous. I’m thinking chipmunk, possibly a squirrel. Anyway, weird coincidence.

submitted 18 days ago • 2 comments

Dear yogurt container: when I let you down, when you fell from the heights of the fridge you had every right to sploo-plap all over the floor. But you didn’t. You held yourself together, mostly, and just did kind of a splut, and now I pledge you my life.

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment