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sparklesorushex.bsky.social
Expert parallel parker, 1-handed texting aficionado, closet gamer, aspiring gardener, Self-Bagging Champ (‘22-‘23). Professionally unserious. Working to become your favorite urban legend. Everything I will or have ever said or posted is satire and/parody.
171 posts 440 followers 789 following
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Posts 22 Comments 27

So this is what the next level of hell looks like.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Some people are actual rocket scientists. Some people are smart enough to be rocket scientists. Some people are neither of those things.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Spotted while walking my dog. This most excellent specimen was completely unfazed by me or my dog.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

When will the too-tight, ill-fitting suit trend pass? Very few enjoyers of this trend have invested in a solid relationship with a tailor and it shows. Make it stop.

submitted 38 days ago • 1 comment

The more I garden, the more I hate grass lawn.

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

The cherry blossoms are all gone so I’m glad I got this pic. Now, suddenly, it’s muggy, mosquito season.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Billionaires should be required to travel economy at least twice a year.

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

My jasmine bloomed today. Happy Earth Day!

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

I think the brain worm is still very much alive and winning.

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

I want to go outside, but outside hates me right now.

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

I say ‘no worries’ a lot considering the state of things.

submitted 88 days ago • 1 comment

My job takes so much time out of my day.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

Infinity Nikki is my new therapist.

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments

Libraries? Museums? These guys are just the worst of the worst.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

The Hubster and I suddenly felt an urgent need to repaint most of our house ourselves. The new color, the steady zen of covering the old color with a fresh, clean wash of new paint has been therapeutic, but still this MF’re has me doing all the trim.

submitted 107 days ago • 1 comment

I don’t think I’ve ever seen an axolotl and a penguin at the same place at the same time so….

submitted 120 days ago • 0 comments

Are teenagers always grumpy or just when they’re around me?

submitted 124 days ago • 1 comment

I’ve got French bread making in the bread maker and now the house smells soooo good. But, the delicious aroma has made us all to hungry to wait and now we’re ordering pizza.

submitted 125 days ago • 0 comments

Trying to get a dog to look at a sunset with you is a hilarious way to spend 5 minutes.

submitted 128 days ago • 0 comments

I remember when I thought I didn’t need to sedate myself just to watch the evening news.

submitted 137 days ago • 1 comment

3 scoops of Ben & Jerry’s is my favorite kind of superbowl.

submitted 140 days ago • 0 comments

I have words but they are all profane. It’s going to get tense when I pop open 5 Calls tomorrow.

submitted 140 days ago • 0 comments