Profile avatar
spleenly.bsky.social
Woke worker, adrift academic, data digger, conflagrant coder, lightly dark, deeply shallow. Every tech job, all at once. he/him #ATX My shitposts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabdifjqy6jm
8,736 posts 5,081 followers 1,635 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter
Posts 36 Comments 14

I don't particularly like sticking my fingers in there, but I'll do it. - me, checking if the plants need water *only*

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

Isn’t the Old Testament basically that era’s version of a Project 2025

submitted 23 hours ago • 0 comments

Skinny dippin' season is approaching

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

The long hamburger had only three minutes of fame and was probably fake but will stay with me always.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Give a man a hamburger, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to hamburgle, you’ll feed him for a lifetime

submitted 1 day ago • 21 comments

The space between the Onion and actual reality is paper thin these days.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Really just looking to get punched in the Costco checkout line so I can retire.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Seeing a bag of oranges makes me want Cheetos. Damn you, food science!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Extreme heat and UV indexes at the same time? That's just braised and broasted, baby.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I wish I had human friends 💔

submitted 3 days ago • 10 comments

A nice thing about being a contractor vs. employee is you're expected to discuss all your personal health issues in the Zoom intro.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Has anyone mentioned to physicists that dark energy might just be anxiety?

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I like observing park dates because I can totally tell who's about to go fuck.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

11am church bells: [first chime] Me: Taco Bell? Bong!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

On the one hand we have RFKjr, on the other I sometimes think I should go to jail for the disgusting condition of my phone screen.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

People I consider fringe are inside the fridge from the fringe I inhabit.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Hold on, HE SWAM IN SHIT’S CREEK That’s all.

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

My husband accidentally said “catnipped” instead of “catfished” and we decided that catnipped should be the new name for the opposite of catfished, when someone ends up looking better in person than their pictures online. You guys can have that.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

a-bike (analog)

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Given the rate of adoption, LLMs could take over the world without even becoming self-aware, sentient, or AGI.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

The robins are in town but they don't come to my yard. 😤

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Was the theory here, "really need a photo op for my obsessive child endangerment?"

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

It's not the teat, it's the humidititties

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

Trying to sell yourself to new management, the "she's never gonna fuck you, bro" of career development.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I hate to say it but there really is a place for AI in making me sound less like a crazy person in email.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

New plan: robots and AIs pay into Social Security as we gradually reduce the retirement age to 0.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Opening the "12 years ago today" photo app notification out of morbid curiosity.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

My entire gym this morning smells like weed or sweaty cucumbers.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I can't believe people think I'm an asshole for buying an automobile sold exclusively to assholes.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

There's never enough time. [stares at the ceiling all day]

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

"Listen to your body." My body: Die, bitch.

submitted 39 days ago • 1 comment

All that stuff about being genuine and real is just a trap. Be an entity. Have a schtick. That's what endures.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Yes, ignore me harder. I'm almost there.

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

Sorry I keep referring to maple syrup as an elixir, I'm just deeply dissatisfied with life.

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

I am of course now contemplating the possibility of creating a one-page resume using my letterpress gear. 🤣

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Yard work, the hydrocarbon sonata.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment