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spookycomic.bsky.social
⚠️This is a jokey account💙 Failed librarian 📚📖🖋️📝 Walk-ins are never welcome🖤🪦⚰️🥀🍂 Never sundried🌕🌛☔️🌧️🗿 👑Show-off💎💍💅🪷🦦 Blood screams her brain as they chop off her fingers Blood will be borne in the birth of a nation Blood is the rose of mysterious union
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Posts 31 Comments 19

Canadians are now seasoning the maple syrup exports with a little national resentment

submitted 11 hours ago • 14 comments

He stood behind me and rubbed his hands up and down my outer thighs. “I can feel the Frito crumbs on your pants,” he whispered.

submitted 3 hours ago • 6 comments

I can't dwell on past egrets, I need to focus on the heron now.

submitted 121 days ago • 38 comments

Ah, the wisdom of children’s books

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Renaming my to-do list to “To-Duh” because everything is stupid and I resent all of it.

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

We could really use some more comeuppances around here.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

If he shops here 🚩🚩🚩

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Insane or passionate? You’ll never know.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Must be really hard being a self-conscious elephant.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

wrote a little song called "wtaf" wanna hear it, here it goes

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

Dear Bluesky, Please add group DM rooms. I understand why you don't want photos in rooms because of ⚡men⚡ sending their ⚡junk⚡ but why no chatrooms? Sincerely, Your favorite Dave (not mine), Dave.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

I don't want a refund check from DOGE. I want air traffic controllers and Park Rangers

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

How sad is it when the comedians are the voice of reason.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Neighborhood social media pages where people complain about other people's dogs running loose and shade people for other mundane issues are clearly the seventh circle of Dante's inferno.

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

It’s my 2,000th consecutive day of just getting through one more day.

submitted 2 days ago • 11 comments

Mine brings all the boys to the yard And then burns them

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Those 500 year old sharks that are still cruising around the bottom of the Arctic Ocean just go to show how long you can live if people will leave you the fuck alone.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Well, shit

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

The only thing good about Columbus, Ohio is the character from Zombieland.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Imagine me in your bed. WRONG! More mashed potatoes.

submitted 8 days ago • 14 comments

I bet Alex P. Keaton is a Nazi now.

submitted 8 days ago • 9 comments

No one says “I have no filter” anymore because no one has a fucking filter anymore

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

I talk a lot of shit for someone who loves clean sheets.

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

Too much wrath… Not enough grapes.

submitted 8 days ago • 6 comments

My 3D card to him

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Budgeting hack: Skip the cart. Only grab what you can carry in your arms. This keeps spending in check and prevents impulse buys. Then, simply walk out of the store.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

fun fact: if you mute the word “musk” here you see nothing but funny people talking about how tired they are

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

Welcome to the Imperative Royale Hotel! Our bartender Maxim will categorically serve you drinks in our Kanteen. Feel free to open a tab if you can't pay right now!

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

I didn't buy anyone anything for valentine's day this year, instead I made them original gifts from my own dead skin.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Nothing about fucking February is particularly lust inspiring

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I just realized that Elvis' Burning Love is about chlamydia

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments