squirtvonnegut.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Im tied to a chair in some damp basement somewhere in the american midwest. The cop slides another Meta Neuroreader headset on me. I immediately fry it by visualizing Karl Franz's warhammer wiki page in a weaponized shotgun blast of autism, wasting $12,000. This is the third time I've done this.

submitted 3 days ago • 41 comments

i fear my son (cat) lacks the temperament for kingship… his humors draw him to naught but feasting and the hunt

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

severance is a great show because the average female character is a monstrously dedicated ice-chewing psychopath while the average male character is a sopping wet cat

submitted 3 days ago • 22 comments

Queer Eye but it’s just a giant eye. ostensibly queer. we beg for its wisdom through our screens. but that’s not how Netflix works

submitted 3 days ago • 18 comments

it must feel so good as a coward to bury the heroic dead

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Annapurna Interactive announces 'Gone Home' extraction shooter sequel in which 30 players are parachuted into Rural Oregon and attempt to collect enough Angela Carter short story collections and Kate Bush LPs to realize they're a lesbian before anyone else

submitted 5 days ago • 41 comments

(pointing to punisher logo on policeman's shirt while being arrested stealing baby shoes from Ross) thats fucking awesome . I love dead pool

submitted 7 days ago • 34 comments

every birdwatcher hopes one day to see the Sacred Bird of the Dawn which despite the name is quite evil and difficult to perceive

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Administering electric shocks to people in the adjacent room and hesitating when the screams get too loud. Thankfully there's an authority figure here reassuring me that it's ok to continue

submitted 12 days ago • 180 comments

idea for a movie called The Invention Of Fighting, where Jason Statham plays the first person to come up with the idea of punching

submitted 15 days ago • 48 comments

The city of Omelas! Great city. Great people. They have the best parades. They have a parade everyday in the city of Omelas. Oh-meh-las. Great city. People say there's a child there. A miserable child, people say that. I've never seen the child. Wonderful parades though.

submitted 16 days ago • 2 comments

Hey man sorry to hear about all your political turmoil. Would it help if I scrolled around on the computer all day and drove myself insane?

submitted 17 days ago • 168 comments

Had a dream I was at a kid's birthday party with Brian Cox, who invited the birthday boy to cut the cake and then berated him for doing it wrong. "Go on, put some damn muscle into it!" said celebrated actor Brian Cox to the crying boy.

submitted 19 days ago • 3 comments

Just realised that "Gene Hackman" is the exact name that Hideo Kojima would give a biochemist

submitted 19 days ago • 63 comments

Hearing your matey cry out "land ho" gotta hit different

submitted 25 days ago • 3 comments

if they managed to make a "witch in the alps finding her lost cat" game but still made her a massive alchoholic failure like Harry, that's honestly a solid start

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

mfw i have to shoot another fucked up mutant that escaped from my lab

submitted 25 days ago • 6 comments

mixing all sorts of chemicals in a small poorly ventilated room

submitted 30 days ago • 8 comments

Playing more Dread Delusion and it really is what I wish like every AAA open world action rpg was Like no I dont wanna be a hot tiefling doing glory kills I want to be a drugged up little rat man who just got out of reddit atheist jail

submitted 33 days ago • 2 comments

flesh and metal working as one, human and machine, together more powerful than either alone, i mutter as i lift a power cord out of my roomba's way

submitted 34 days ago • 4 comments

if the richest guy in the world is going to be a tech giant it should be whichever enlightened genius finally makes editing text in PDFs work right

submitted 33 days ago • 16 comments

thinkinhg exactly like THe Thinker but without any muscles in evidence how can i use Gaming to fix everything

submitted 33 days ago • 1 comment

dear anyone ever designing boss fights for video games: please just let me hit the guy

submitted 34 days ago • 112 comments

megawealth is a curse! you become acutely aware of the needs you have that cannot be satisfied through material means AND you are socially ill-positioned to be in a place where you can experience authentic human connection because everyone around you has every incentive to lie to you!

submitted 37 days ago • 251 comments

(two months into being a lighthouse keeper) pretty sure i'm god like 96%

submitted 40 days ago • 2 comments

Why go see Anora when I can see anora showing of the 2024 hit papal thriller Conclave featuring Oscar-nominated Ralph Fiennes.

submitted 43 days ago • 42 comments

"Complete my profile?" You've made an enemy for life.

submitted 43 days ago • 1 comment

(with a great weariness of spirit) just drink the fucking water, you stupid horse

submitted 47 days ago • 1 comment

Hulk Hogan getting booed out "of the building" does not cheer me because I do not want him in a building, I want him laid low. I want him wandering the wilderness totally bereft and foraging on bugs & beetles for sustenance. I want one of the beetles to give him the runs

submitted 47 days ago • 52 comments

Game where you are the person who's supposed to be going around and trying to climb all the rocks and painting the yellow paint on the rocks that turn out to be climbable. At the end of the game it simulates a bunch of visitors & you get a score based on how many succeeded/got injured in their climb

submitted 51 days ago • 24 comments

I know a guy who can take you hunting in the platonic realm. Some of the shapes there haven't learned to be afraid of humans yet. You can easily slaughter hundreds of trapezoids. Yeah, it's terrible for your soul

submitted 50 days ago • 3 comments