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standard123.bsky.social
22 years old considers himself funny I have no idea what to put in a bio
20 posts 6 followers 17 following
Regular Contributor
Posts 14 Comments 6

I spilled pulled pork in my bed :(

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

I've decided to never give a plant as a gift again because every time I have my friends have killed them. How do you kill a fucking cactus, seriously. I went from giving potted flowers ➡️ to succulents ➡️ cacti. It's a shame because I loved the symbolism of giving someone a living thing.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Does anyone else ever miss someone who is still in your life but how you've viewed them has changed? Like you miss the version of that person that used to exist only in your mind's eye.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I'm about to finally get my Econ degree and the main thing I learned was how to be really annoying

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I had a dream last night, I was interviewing for a job. "Are you a go getter?" the interviewer asks ". . . I have experience going . . . and experience getting 😅" I reply "🤨" I felt like Jell-O just completely see through She knew I haven't gone and that I haven't got Then I awoke with a gasp

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Me dropping hints I'm a furry to my best friend "Dude it would be like totally crazy 😝 if we went to our local Fur-con for like anthropological study of a interesting subculture bruh 🤓 like come on its looks like a lot of fun 🤪 they just look like they are having so much fun😳"

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

As of time of posting I am 99.999% all my followers are bots

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I got a ad for Milk road while just scrolling on twitter. Something about having a carton of milk as a mascot I find inherently untrustworthy. Advice that can "go bad", investments that can "Sour". Just from the mascot's eyes, I don't trust this carton of milk for a second.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I get existential hangry, like often before I start feeling actual physical hunger I get thoughts like "Were all so fucked, the techno-capital singularity is gonna turn us all into fucking paper clips" then I eat and poof head empty thoughts gone, the mind body link is crazy

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I love the post work out feeling of looking into the mirror completely drenched head to toe in sweat and thinking to myself "There you are you sweaty sweat monster"

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Nothing like shouting into the void FUCK! take that polite society 😎

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I'm not a religious person but I did once have a religious experience. In 2020 my dad bought discount rotisserie chicken and it gave our whole family food poisoning. Never experienced pain like it ever before or since. My head and stomach were in sync sending the worst pain I have ever felt.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

does it count as Irony that I got food poisoning while watching dinner with Andre?

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I look at the scale I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I ask myself why am I getting fat? Then I remember after class multiple times a week I go to wholefoods and eat 32 ounces of Clam Chowder for lunch. I then dismiss the concept of me being any sort of rational actor.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments