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stewnami.bsky.social
Problem solver. Idiot. Co-host of Salty Language Podcast and The Crazy Life Podcast. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajoi7hhr6mi
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Meatball jawbreakers

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

WIFE: Our new neighbour is a bank manager but he seems to keep himself to himself ME: He's kind of a loaner WIFE: You need to move out

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

*Sticks my head in the air fryer*

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Dilemma: The person next to you needs the heimlich maneuver but you have an erection.

submitted 4 days ago • 11 comments

When you close a calendar, you’re clapping those weeks

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

When two irritated people love each other they can come together to become more annoyed than they ever would have been apart

submitted 27 days ago • 12 comments

How come when a woman says she's had many sexual partners she’s “promiscuous” but when I say it I’m a “liar”

submitted 28 days ago • 11 comments

It's funny how some foods evoke specific memories, like for me chicken noodle soup reminds me of the time I murdered a man for his bowl of chicken noodle soup

submitted 18 days ago • 5 comments

For just one repost a day you can sponsor a shitposter, providing them with crucial shitposting necessities like, internet validation, fleeting ego-boosting, and the comforting illusion that their drivel is genuinely valued.

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

A mask that has a void for you to scream into

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

My girlfriend is so sweet she always brings me extra pillows when I'm snoring but she keeps accidentally holding them down over my face.

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

The feeling like you’re too much and not enough at the same moment

submitted 8 days ago • 5 comments

Dodgeball but with random people that don't know they're playing.

submitted 8 days ago • 19 comments

"Son, she said Have I got a little pony for you" - Jeremy (the happy version)

submitted 8 days ago • 8 comments

what’s your favourite method for cooking a chicken sensually? mine is spatchcocking

submitted 8 days ago • 4 comments

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I feel like only Super Grover can save us

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I bet the first time a pirate said “Ahoy there,” the mateys went berserk

submitted 10 days ago • 23 comments

I’ve got that dog in me. it’s ripping me apart and quickly consuming my flesh, but worth it for this joke format

submitted 11 days ago • 3 comments

Of course they tried to put Humpty Dumpty back together, think of how much he was worth!

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

The Dorito stays in my hair during sex.

submitted 12 days ago • 18 comments

[interviewer] and what about this space on your resume? [me] oh thats when i gave up for a bit

submitted 15 days ago • 3 comments

Sometimes you think it was Cupid’s arrow, but it was a bird pooping on you

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Sad that no one has sent me a heart shaped pizza today

submitted 13 days ago • 2 comments

The worst part about insomnia is having to eat all those spiders while I'm awake

submitted 152 days ago • 18 comments

not now, kids. mom’s making water* *filling the brita™️ pitcher

submitted 14 days ago • 5 comments

[people leaving the reading of my last will and testament] Why did he have so many tamagotchis

submitted 14 days ago • 13 comments

There is an old Lithuanian expression which has always given me peace of mind in difficult times. I can’t write in their language, but it loosely translates to: fuuuuuuuuuck.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

The only sexts I get are offers from pizza places

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

The face behind the garbage skeets

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

Sugars always be having unsavory behaviors

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Marvel, it’s 2025, she should be the Visible Woman by now

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

it was the summer of 94- (stops abruptly to take a swig of whiskey and then looks somberly off into the distance) -it was the summer of 94 and cotton eye joe ruined my goddamn life

submitted 19 days ago • 7 comments

I invented a new type of heroine, I called it Jesus. Priest: Oh son, you should never take the lord’s name in…aaaahhhh you got me you son of a bitch.

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

Horrifying if literal: blended family.

submitted 19 days ago • 46 comments

it’s the weekend and i’m saying swear words

submitted 19 days ago • 18 comments

You don’t know true pain until you lose your favourite pen.

submitted 22 days ago • 24 comments

What do you mean burying my face in your boobs isn’t getting back to nature(als)?

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Bartenders play “just the tap” with kegs

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

A sunrise pic, but it’s that person that posts bhole every morning

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

Say what you will about diarrhea but at one point or another it's gotten us all out of something we didn't want to do.

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

*Frames photos of my favorite foods and puts them around my house instead of family photos*

submitted 28 days ago • 2 comments

My landlord said I can't have a cat because they poop inside. But it's like, where does he think I've been going?

submitted 68 days ago • 5 comments

most sharks never stop swimming because they are haunted by past mistakes and if they pause for even a moment grief will overwhelm them

submitted 29 days ago • 24 comments