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stunnnsemerald.bsky.social
My posts are cognitive hazards. If you experience anything outside of the generally expected reality immediately claim them to be objective reality and carry on with your previous objective. Do not ask about the gnomes it will only make things worse.
226 posts 57 followers 114 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 43 Comments 7

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

In my tower (2nd story bedroom) studying spells (learning where to acquire skincare products for cheap) to improve my physical form (have skin better than yours so I can gloat)

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Kill people you don't like

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

If you are currently in an American shopping mall you are at risk: there is a 0.08695652173% chance you are in the exact mall where I have released an army of gnomes into the ventilation system.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Hot take: Unless they're calling you out for plagiarism, they're probably just trying to be funny or relate to you We can say "please don't do it, it makes us uncomfortable", but I think we've crossed a line if we send an all caps tweet swearing at people for something so small

submitted 8 days ago • 13 comments

Oh yeah, it's happening.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Large fan

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

extremely important PSA

submitted 14 days ago • 73 comments

submitted 11 days ago • 8 comments

submitted 21 days ago • 38 comments

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

"Now Mr. Pharaoh I know this is a bad time but I kinda sorta need a small amount of gold" The locusts:

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

It doesn't rmit carbon monoxide I just need the actual alarm part of it

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

If you are reading this give me your carbon monoxide alarm I am making a device to detect the wendigo's presence

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

"My soup is talking to me" Okay tell it to shut up dumbass

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Girl dinner

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

My return marks the destruction of the Home Owners' Association

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

いらいらスパイク💢👀

submitted 36 days ago • 6 comments

Evil creature

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

Evil jelqing

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

WHAT THE FUCK IS A MIXIN

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Princess Mononoke — Children of a Goddess

submitted 49 days ago • 21 comments

listen carefully, the door to door salesman has escaped the closet, I need you to go get him while I fend off against his boss

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

If you are visited by jingleclause tonight fear not, for you will never see him again.

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

If you can see it in the sky consider yourself lucky

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 65 days ago • 67 comments

EPIC GAMER COMIC 40

submitted 65 days ago • 8 comments

Twink death is merely an illusion

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

untitled houses

submitted 66 days ago • 11 comments

I'm so schneepy

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

DEPRECATE RECAPTHCA

submitted 72 days ago • 0 comments

If you suspect your pizza to be sentient please contact law enforcement.

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

The rats are coming.

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

Shout out to my followers for fueling inspiration for my unorthodox posts. Also there's a brain eating monster in your closet.

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

Caucasian male of testicular descent.

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

Question everyone. They're lying to you.

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

The final nail in the coffin will be hammered from the inside.

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry to everyone who couldn't get a V1 or V2 plush. There's just so much demand that the actual logistics start to get in the way. We've been looking into options for how to make more and faster while keeping the price down and quality consistent!

submitted 87 days ago • 6 comments

Did you know? You're on the terrible list.

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

Did you know? Jingle Clause doesn't need to commit an act of rudeness right away, and often times he saves ~100 acts for later and condenses them into one act of terribleness.

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

Did you know? For every act of kindness Santa Clause commits, due to entropy, Jingle Clause commits one act of rudeness.

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

Did you know? The plural of house is hice. However this was erased from dictionaries by Charles, who thought it was stupid.

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments