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sykeohbabble.bsky.social
Elbow model. Sippin on milkshakes in random yards. What time does Weirdo club start?
94 posts 141 followers 124 following
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Asking strangers to smell your fingers gets weird reactions.

It’s like my grandma always said, “Stop giving reposts to people who only give you likes.”

It was the worst of times, it was the ‘fuck it, send’ of times.

My only mortal enemies are people that played a Draw 4 UNO card on me

My emotional support animal is a rotisserie chicken from Costco...

She the one if she has emergency hot sauce in her purse....

You know shit is really bad when nobody will return a finger wave while cruising the gravel roads.

I'm not antisocial, I just hate people

Lets get wings.. I need to know if you look cute with wing sauce dripping from ya face

Get Rich and Lie Tryin'

Tell your booty... Sup? For me

First date idea: I'm wearing nothing but a red flag so he can't say he wasn't warned.

I like your shitposting. *me, flirting

Live, Laugh, Leave em on read

Can’t. Learning how to say fuck you in multiple languages

Allen and Mahomes are throwing haymakers in this game

Come for the handjobs stay for the protein shakes.

“I’ve got $22 Kohl’s cash and a 30% off coupon” - me, flirting

It's like no one even wants to river dance anymore

If she isn't a leader of a Soul Sucking Death cult... She ain't the one!

Law & Order: Special Butthole Unit

any crocs can be snow crocs if you just wear them in the snow

It’s Friday. Go fuck someone’s day up.

Lies are stored in the balls.

Do we still have Taco Tuesday or was an EO signed demolishing it?

you’re supposed to store treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

I like people with no filter because then I know what kind of crazy I'm vibing with.

There needs to be an inauguration for Deez Nuts

be right back. i gotta go cut bangs for the apocalypse.

YOU MEANIES!!!!! Leave TITtok alone

I am a Dolla Tree shopper in a Target world

Girl, are you a Bluesky celebrity account? Cuz I can't get you to like me.

enjoy these sports illustrated covers featuring the muppets: a thread

I bet some mouth to mouth would fix me.

Relationship goals... Finding someone to love me like refs love Patty Mahomes

First date idea.... Dive bar with a jukebox.... I need to know they can pick some banger tunes

I just want one of those hugs that makes me feel like someone is slowly putting the broken pieces back together.

If they ain't fight for you then they ain't right for you. Remember that. ❤️

Live Laugh LOVE them thick thighs

Bad sex comes from not returning your shopping cart to the corral... It's fucking science!

I spilled my latte in my lap today and now I have a caramel toe

Finger me like one of your focaccias

These are my comfy gray sweats..... Not the make my junk appear bigger pair...

Bagel in the streets, donut in the sheets.

Look if we sewed my red flags with your red flags, we could make the sweetest circus tent

you, me, and poo-pourri™