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tellumsiege.bsky.social
There’s a special-divide between me and people who finish BG3 in under 50 hours. I can’t shower without slow twirling and belting the theme to Dawson’s Creek. I’m banned from three gyms because of it. Working on my fourth. I hate character limits as muc
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The people complaining about Moxley’s bat spot are like Disney fans complaining about the violence in Kill Bill. Don’t like it? Don’t watch it. Go back to watching your safe-for-kids wrestling show and leave my mature cool shit alone. #AEW #AEWDynamite #Dynamite #Wrestlesky

What’s black and white and read all over? Not a newspaper…Toni Storm. #AEWRevolution #AEW #Wrestlesky

I love JR. Wish he could be around more. #AEWRevolution #AEW #Wrestlesky

The Baha Men: “Who let the dogs out?!” Brody King: “WHO! WHO! WHO! WHO!” #AEWRevolution #AEW #Wrestlesky

I wish someone supported me as much as Leslie Jones supports Swerve #AEWRevolution #AEW #Wrestlesky

So for Swerve, is Nana out and Leslie Jones in as manager? I…think I accept. #AEWRevolution #AEW #Wrestlesky

Nigel thinking Leslie Jones is Swerve’s mom. Holy shit LMAO #AEWRevolution #AEW #Wrestlesky

Whoever that drummer was owes Swerve a huge favour #AEWRevolution #AEW #Wrestlesky

MJF humping Hangman’s arm looking like me with my sleep pillow. #AEWRevolution #AEW #Wrestlesky

Damn! MJF with the mooseknuckle punch! #AEWRevolution

Holy shit. That Hurt Syndicate promo was insane. Get that man a contract and some cough syrup #AEWRevolution

I have extra underwear at the ready just in case Speedball debuts tonight #AEWRevolution

The theme for tonight’s #AEW #Revolution makes me wish I had glow sticks and pink pills with happy faces on them.

While Trump appoints 13 billionaires to his cabinet and Musk, Bezos and Zuckerberg see their wealth increase by $217 billion since the election, 60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, 25% of seniors live on $15g or less and millions cannot afford rent. SAY NO TO OLIGARCHY.

If the #NBA wants the All Star game to matter, then they should do like the NHL (first time I’ve ever said that!) and pit nations against each other. A few options: 1. Team USA / Team Canada / Team France / Team “Everyone Else” 2. Team USA East / Team USA West / Team Canada / Team Globe Thoughts?

I keep forgetting the words to the Alphabet song.

Today was Take Your Daughter to Work day at the office. I don’t have a daughter so I took Liam Neeson’s. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE.

I wish the guy that named walkie-talkie’s could’ve named everything.

My dad treats a trip to the grocery store like he’s neck-and-neck for first on the Amazing Race and one small hiccup could cost us the whole game.

My best friend is trapped in a Christmas Cracker. We’re all pulling for him. #Comedy #Jokes

Stuff that couldn’t fit in my bio Part 1: I suffer from a condition I call “non-plural hiccups.” Once a day I release a single, donkey-bray of a hiccup that acts like a black hole for the attention and concern of others; a sound so loud it makes Air Horns blush and google average dB-size.

Look, I like Alone as much as anyone. But let’s face it: it’s only a matter of time before some semen-eater gets on the show and changes the genre entirely. #Alone #Comedy #TV

Bumped into my conjoined twin over the weekend. It was good to re-connect.