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thebman.bsky.social
Occasional writer. Terrible gambler. Once came in second in a chicken wing eating competition.
43 posts 27 followers 30 following
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The Righteous Gemstones, but it's just Guy Fieri's kids fighting for the right to wear his shirts.

I've been investing extra money into crypto currency lately, which my dad says is just a waste and will leave me broke. I do understand his skepticism. He never financially recovered from the great Beanie Baby crash of 99.

Congrats to Northern Illinois for winning the transitive property runner up in the College Football Playoffs!

Investigator: "detective, the body is that of a high powered attorney from around here. We think his wife's boyfriend got jealous and murdered him." Detective Steve Bannon removes his glasses. "More like Johnny Cuck-rane." YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CSI: Red State

My wife literally just now found out Brick by Ben Folds Five is about abortion. I was casually talking about my favorite karaoke songs when it came up, in case you were wondering what a typical conversation between myself and my wife is.

At our baby shower, we did one of those things where we had people fill out the trait they want each parent to give the child. Of 41 respondents, the three most common responses for me were sense of humor(17), height(8), and laugh(4). So it's official: I'm a tall, funny uggo.

People whining about Taylor Swift at the Super bowl are the human version of the "old man screaming at a cloud" meme.

Keto is gout's Apex predator.

Vince McMahon and Donald Trump are the same person.

Was there anyone more nonplussed than Vince McMahon in early 90s Royal Rumbles? **10 guys trying to lift Mabel** "500 pounds of Mabel trying to hang on. Can he hang o..no he's gone."

I regret not the things Ive said, but very much the things Ive karaoked.

Yea sex is good, but have you ever gotten to deal with an overzealous safety associate at work?

Its Dave Matthews birthday today. Im gonna celebrate the same way ive celebrated it the past 30 years. By not listening to his awful, awful, awful music.

Did they play Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez at work tonight? Yes!

Catching on 1000 lb Sisters and I really wasn't expecting Tammy to spend the season being the voice of reason. #1000lbsisters

Social Media Party Facebook is the party you go to where you have to keep your voice down and look at baby pictures all night. Twitter is the party south of I80 that you know is gonna get weird after a few drinks and you will probably run into your anti vax cousin.

@immatelfring.bsky.social did Podcast Killed ever do "It's Raining Men?" Just watched it (don't ask) and one of the gals was wearing a Bret Hart pink jacket that said "Mother nature" on the back. I feel like the fact that I don't own this jacket is a huge personal loss.

It must have been pretty neat growing up in the 80's...you know, other than the Reagan stuff.

Idea for a movie: Nicholas Cage gets fired from a salon for a dye job he didnt do. To get his job back, he has to steal the worlds rarest weave. The title? Con Hair.

**in extremely Cajun tone** We got all sorts of stuff and whatnot to paint. Come on in and paint yourself an alligator tail. Take out your artistic bent on some crawdads. All that and more at Ceramics Swamp!

An older woman at my work is wearing a shirt that says: THREE ONE SIX Now, I know that she is wearing it as a religious shirt, but deep down id love to see her get mad and start Stone Cold Stunnering people.

I wear flannel during the winter, hang out at the local watering hole, and never left my hometown. I'm every good guy in Hallmark Christmas movies that people hate.

Did they play Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez at work tonight? Yes!

At my niece's horse riding competition and this is the most bored I've ever been, which is saying a lot because I saw the new Scorsese movie last night.

While I want the Bears to finish with the first pick in the draft as much as anyone, let's not pretend tonight wasn't a fun experience. Justin Fields is on pace to throw 3909 yards. If they end up with say, the 2 and 10 picks, but feel like Fields is still a valid option, then they can use those

My Chemical PickNRollmance

I remember back this summer, I was in Detroit. We were leaving the Tigers game and there was a Taylor Swift concert that night across the street at Ford Field. Amongst the 10s of thousands of fans, a storefront was selling old DeAndre Swift Lions jerseys as Taylor Swift Lions jerseys at full price.

All my thoughts are with Krayzie Bone and his family. Bone Thugs N Harmony was an incredible part of my early life. I've seen them at least four times in person.

I'd make a meme about Icarus pushing a boulder up the mountain, but with a Bears logo. But let's face it, Bears fans are too stupid to understand it.

Anytime you think you wont make your goal or fulfill your dream, just remember..Damien Demento lasted over 12 minutes in the 1993 Royal Rumble.

Left Tackle Goes on injured reserve Starting quarterback calls out coaches for the offense not working Defensive coordinator is gone and nobody will say if he still works for the team. BEARS ARE BACK, BABY!!!

Imagine how cool it would be to have been Mark McGrath in the 90s.

Did "Born To Be Alive" by Patrick Hernandez come on at work tonight? Yes!

Did "Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez come on at work tonight? Yes.