thedarkoverlord.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

The amount of cheese I want to eat while watching videos of dogs right now makes sense now that I looked at the calendar. #PMS

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I almost cried because a dog walking by was just so small. #PMSTweets

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I don't know which TikToker I need to be mad at but all my students have been using the words "emo" "cringe" and "slay" wrong for months now and I'm over it. #TeacherLife

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When you and another American coworker are in the room while a Swedish coworker is talking about the atrocity of the shooting in Copenhagen and you both remember at the same time that we're supposed to also think this is an atrocity, but we're American and this is just... Monday

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Yesterday while on a school trip a student found really cute Dolce&Gabbana sunglasses on the ferry that looked really cute on me and had great polarization and I had to be a good example and put them in the lost and found and I'm still annoyed by it. #TeacherLife

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Y'all, please discuss skepticism and critical thinking on the internet with your kids. I am so tired of saying "what have we said about listening to people on YouTube?" #TeacherLife

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I have taught my students many, many, many things. What do they remember and bring up often? The casually mentioned factoids that we all started out as buttholes and that bats have buttcheeks. #TeacherLife

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A student copied my tattoo. The next day she came up to me and asked me what I use to draw it on so it stays. I asked her if she thought I drew it on each day, and she says she does. I explained to her what a tattoo is. #TeacherLife

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Another beautiful morning, another beautiful scramble that started out as an omelette #DomesticGoddess #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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Time for another installment of #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks Got cats? Then you, too, suffer with The Litter Box. Non-clumping litter. OMG, if you forget to scoop for a day, there's no solid mass of pee. It's LIFE CHANGING. Just... be careful not to rip the bag when you dump it

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First day back from being sick (again) Year 2 student: where have you been? Me: sick Y2: why? Me: what do you mean, why? Cause you guys are gross Y2: I'm not gross, but everyone else... yeah Me: fair #TeacherLife #AlwaysSick #CuteLittlePetriDishes

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I put out bird food and wasn't immediately adopted by animals like a Disney princess so life is pointless.

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#MitchHedberg joked about baking a potato even if you don't want it: When it's done you might. May I introduce, the Slow Cooker. Gonna be home all weekend? Make chili. Soup. Marinara. Still don't want it? Freeze it for the future. Follow me for more #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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Associate tasks with a uniform, put it on for motivation. Always wear the same outfit to clean. Working from home? Get out of the PJs. Need to work out? Put on gym clothes. I don't GO to the gym, but at least I think about going. Follow me for more #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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me, sore, sitting down at a table with some year 2 kids Me: Oof, you guys. I'm really old. Student L, in the most matter of fact tone I've ever heard: Yeah, I know. takes a bite of her sandwich #TeacherLife #KidsHaveNoFilter

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Are you bored? Nothing you can think of to do is scratching the brain itch? This means you're understimulated. Decide to clean. Either it results in cleaning (!!!) or your brain will magically come up with something else to do. Follow me for more #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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Right, those of you who didn't follow me on Twitter probably don't know that I have 3 cats. Persephone is a grumpy AF old woman (18) and the Council Of Eunuch Dumbasses is Ares (5, black) and Apollo (4, polydactyl tuxedofloof). I refer to them a lot, cause... cats #CatsOfBluesky

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Overwhelmed with bills? Always forget to pay them on time? Generally unskilled at Money Management Adulting? Create a Google calendar on your phone with the due date-ish for each bill with an appropriate repeat, but 2 days early. Follow me for more #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Important emails getting lost in a flood of junk mail? Create a second email account specifically for mailing lists and junk mail. Then, you'll only have 30k+ unread emails on one account, and none of them will cause you stress. Follow me for more #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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Do you have a washing machine in your home? Does your laundry basket tend to overflow? Throw it out, just throw dirty clothes directly into the washer and turn that bad boy on when it's full! Not like you were separating your whites and darks anyway. #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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Got a problem dropping trash and forgetting to pick it up forever because it's just part of the floor now? Get a cat! Cats naturally find every piece of plastic you ever drop, and play with it at 3am until you go throw it away. Follow me for more #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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If you get the sudden mood to fire it up in the kitchen, leave a sink full of hot, soapy water and clean as you go. Saves space AND you don't have to clean up after (and by after, I mean in two to four weeks, let's be real). Follow me for more #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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Did you accidentally #Hyperfocus on baking today and suddenly you have four cakes that you DEFINITELY do not need to eat? Take them to work, ditch them without a word in the staff room and let that be your co-workers' problem! Follow me for more #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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Put a bunch of fruit you need to use because Grocery Day You was ambitious AF and assorted other things together and suddenly your "I'm too lazy to make a real meal" meal is called a charcuterie board and you're fancy. Follow me for more #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks

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Just an FYI, the word for "taste buds" in Swedish translates to "flavor onions" #SwedishWordOfTheWeek #LAGirlInSweden

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Half of the people talking about #Gävlebocken burning down: Why can't people just respect tradition and leave the thing alone? 🐐 The other half: ... burning it is the tradition, Karen. I think we know which side I'm on 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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Student pointing at my name badge photo: you look so young in this photo. Me: are you saying I look old in person? Student: ... nervous laughter #TeacherLife

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If I had known that I would spend SO MUCH time arguing with 7 year olds about the rules for Uno, I think I would've asked for a higher salary. #TeacherLife

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Hi, I'm PMSing and instead of the entire bag of chips and then also ice cream I wanted I ate bell peppers, so like, when do I drop 30 pounds? #PMSTweets #IWantFunyuns

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Ares: dignified, handsome, regal god of War. Apollo: ... not that #CatsOfBluesky

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"But he started it!" - student "He is in preschool and you are in grade 1, and you are older than he is. Maybe you should be acting like it, hmm?" - Me, 32 years old, riding a tricycle. #TeacherLife

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Me: I am not a fan of that person but I wish them no ill will and will rise above this situation to wish them well. Also Me: There is no way in which I can be anything other than petty in this situation. #PettyButTrying

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I have set up a MacGyver Swamp Cooler because I'm sweating my balls off. The cats and I are melting. I have taken two cold showers already today. I have done the conversion to Fahrenheit. It's 72°F. I'm an embarrassment to my homeland. #LAGirlInSweden #ExpatProblems

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Enjoy a Swedish joke book: Teacher: what is that? Student: a cow eating grass T: where's the grass? S: the cow ate it T: where's the cow? S: it left when the grass was gone

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

Most of my regrets in life are not asking if I can pet someone's dog

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When I talk to parents about their kids sometimes I start it with "I need to talk to you about your child" just to see the panicked look on their face for a few seconds before I tell them positive stuff. It's the little things in life. #TeacherLife

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Scene: apartment with an open balcony door, a stormy morning. OWNER is looking for ARES OWNER: Ares? silence O: Ares? a window creaks in the wind O: ARES sounds of gusting winds and rain O: Ares? OWNER sees a toy dragged out of frame, into the darkness of THE BEDROOM

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Me: yeah I think I had COVID in March. Student: but you're really old, how come you didn't die? #Rude #TeacherLife

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Yr 1 student, on the little sister that is expected any day now: Well, my parents didn't want any more kids, because I... well, you know how I am. #TeacherLife

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Me: good, what does the last sentence mean? G: this is the story of the beginning to the end & Odin's vision of a world that... uhhh Me: is ripped apart G: is ripped apart by... uhhh Me: war G: ripped apart by war, fire & hats Me: ...hate G: that makes more sense #TeacherLife #Swedish

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Time for another #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks You've got a thing at 3. Avoid #WaitingMode by setting an alarm for 1hr before you need to get serious about leaving. Then you can remind yourself that #WaitingMode only starts once the alarm goes off!

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Between the #witchy urge to pick up sticks, stones and shells and the #Neurodivergent urge to pick up sticks, stones and shells, I think I deserve more credit for not having an apartment filled with sticks, stones and shells.

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On the way to work, a dog had to choose between harassing wild deer and saying hello to me and after a very obvious internal debate, chose me, so today is perfect.

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It's time for another #NeurodivergentHousewifeHacks Do you have auditory processing issues like with #ADHD? Do you NEED to read something boring? Have something read it out loud to you while you read along. It engages more of your senses and helps the info penetrate.

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The moment when I have to take a stick away from a kid, and they're really sad because it's, like, a really good stick, and I get it. We are both disappointed about this situation, kiddo. #TeacherLife

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Me: I've matured past my alt/goth bad boy days. I want stability and emotional intelligence. Also Me: Okay but look, #Loki just needs therapy and my love

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I tried to log in to Twitter so I could copypasta my greatest hits from there, but apparently the app doesn't work at all anymore, which seems... correct. That, or I talked enough shit that they deleted my account. #RIP

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments