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theneedling.com
Seattle's Only Real Fake News (Satire/Parody) Have a hot headline tip? Send it to [email protected] TheNeedling.com
1,415 posts 9,816 followers 902 following
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Posts 47 Comments 3

Yeah but they're gonna sell a hundo for five grand

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

Pfizer to Release New Breakthrough Depression Medication Called Money: tinyurl.com/yfapy34t

submitted 21 hours ago • 8 comments

The doctor who gets kickbacks from Pfizer for prescribing money:

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

"At press time, Pfizer confirmed it will be selling bottles of $50 for $500 a pop."⚡THAT'S A PRETTY LOW PROFIT MARGIN FOR A NEW MEDICATION⚡

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

yeah you know this is literally the only thing that can fix me right now

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

“Trouble buying groceries without having a panic attack? Money may be right for you,” said the ad. “Side effects of Money may include, but are not limited to, mo money, mo problems.”

submitted 20 hours ago • 2 comments

@baseball-broad.bsky.social , This feels like it's just for you.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Very good. Almost had me.

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

I'd definitely need half the amount of my anti-anxiety meds with money! 💵🤑

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

“Trouble buying groceries without having a panic attack? Money may be right for you,” said the ad. “Side effects of Money may include, but are not limited to, mo money, mo problems.”

submitted 20 hours ago • 2 comments

Pfizer to Release New Breakthrough Depression Medication Called Money: tinyurl.com/yfapy34t

submitted 21 hours ago • 8 comments

How dare they use my Professional Title in such a flippant way. Signed, sincerely, Ass. Prof of Badonkanomics

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

🤣🤣🤣🤣

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Yep

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

We can appreciate both, The Needling! (Also petition to add "Ass-istant Professor of Badonkanomics" to the list of Cal's nicknames)

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Hey Siri, play Juicy by Doja Cat! 🗣️

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

We Hope You're Happy: Cal Raleigh Just Found Out You've Been Calling Him That and Now He's Crying: tinyurl.com/4ekawef4

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

I did what I supposed the only logical response to this article is and googled pictures of Cal Reigh and.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

"You know, if you guys bothered to get to know him, you’d realize he’s more than that voluptuous wagon he backs on up to the plate—he’s also got a ‘Big Thumper’ too: his heart.”

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

“We need a planet based on merit, which I think we can all agree is Mars because it’s MAGA red and thousands of years ago men named it after the god of war and that sounds really cool."

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

😂

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

“We need a planet based on merit, which I think we can all agree is Mars because it’s MAGA red and thousands of years ago men named it after the god of war and that sounds really cool."

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Reminds me of a few years back when my now 7 year old asked why Cal was called that, and commented, "Well, then all grownups should be called Big Dumper."

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

"You know, if you guys bothered to get to know him, you’d realize he’s more than that voluptuous wagon he backs on up to the plate—he’s also got a ‘Big Thumper’ too: his heart.”

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

I actually just spat out my beverage

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Mother Earth Fired for Being DEI Planet: tinyurl.com/6uamjf45

submitted 2 days ago • 35 comments

We Hope You're Happy: Cal Raleigh Just Found Out You've Been Calling Him That and Now He's Crying: tinyurl.com/4ekawef4

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

A beautiful spring day to work outside while enjoying the full sun and peak cherry-tree blooms came to an abrupt halt this afternoon in Seattle when the temperature suddenly changed by an entire single degree.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"While Mother Earth struggles to write her next chapter, DOGE reportedly has no intention of firing Father Time."

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

LOL

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

This

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Idk why the neonazi billionaires even bother staying on this planet rather than leave since they hate diversity and multi-ethnic variety.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

This is fantastic. 😂😂

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

A beautiful spring day to work outside while enjoying the full sun and peak cherry-tree blooms came to an abrupt halt this afternoon in Seattle when the temperature suddenly changed by an entire single degree.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

LMAO

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

The Needling always has the real scoop!

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

a 5mph wind, or the sun moving behind the clouds for a bit, will do it too

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Diversity is literally essential to survival. Scarcity is caused by a lack of equity in the system. Inclusion ensures all thrive, not just a select (white male) few. Mother Nature is Trump’s enemy. She will win!

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Beautiful Day to Work Outside Abruptly Ended by 1-Degree Temperature Change: tinyurl.com/5x3r6h4u

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

Mother Earth Fired for Being DEI Planet: tinyurl.com/6uamjf45

submitted 2 days ago • 35 comments

Beautiful Day to Work Outside Abruptly Ended by 1-Degree Temperature Change: tinyurl.com/5x3r6h4u

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

The best part is Taylor is a real company.. #BreakingClamNews

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Mental health experts came together today to remind people overwhelmed by the constant barrage of chaotic political news that there’s nothing better for their nervous systems than to just stare blankly at a wall for a little bit.

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

this is literally a sea penis dude

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Mental health experts came together today to remind people overwhelmed by the constant barrage of chaotic political news that there’s nothing better for their nervous systems than to just stare blankly at a wall for a little bit.

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments