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therealm80.bsky.social
I like falafel and pie. I’m fat. Call me the prince of whales.
158 posts 365 followers 1,109 following
Prolific Poster

I’m rooting for the asteroid

Can we put the cocaine back in Coke now

Y’all don’t scare me big ladies. Now look at this meme and give me a feet dangling bear hug.

Looking more and more like the trip to NYC I have planned for September is going to be a road trip instead of a flight. I’ve never been afraid to get on a plane before, and now I’m second guessing it.

Good news, everyone-

When all the worst people you know are mad about the half-time show

You guys are lucky I don’t write inspirational shit. You’d be so goddamn inspired

Maybe we shouldn’t have let high school ball coaches teach Civics and American Government for the last 60 years.

Oh my god..

I feel like Beyonce has a ska record in her

Okay but have you seen the QUALITY of the doomscroll lately?

Less Carrie Underwood more Cowboy Carter

Putting your name on any petition against the actions of this administration is dangerous. Some may be legit, some will simply be used to make a list of opponents to watch.

Jesus would have flipped these mother fuckers tables and beat the dogshit out of them with a whip.

call your senator

It smells like victory

Is DEI in the room with us right now?

Shake what my momma gave me?? You want me to shake my alcoholism????

What a god awful thing to wake up to.

Being right has never felt so bad

OpenAI: China stole our tech!! Luddites: Oh weird how'd you make your tech in the first place OpenAI: 😡

everyone say thank you deepseek

we never should’ve given power to the nerds. the jocks shouldn’t have it either. we must usher in the age of the goths

No, really. Why the fuck is he obsessed with Greenland?

Ok but why is he fucking obsessed with Greenland?

If you are a bot following us is not good enough. You have to reshare our safety info and protect your bot family.

What if our buttholes are portals to other worlds and that’s why people keep trying to stick things in there?

ME: "Who are you?" DEATH: "I am Death." ME: "Are you here for me??" DEATH: "No, I'm here for whatever the FUCK that is in the Tupperware bowl in the back of your fridge. LET IT GO."

How it started. How it’s going.

Current conditions along Hells Front Porch (aka the Gulf Coast)

You saw it. I saw it. Everyone saw it. We fucking told you. We weren’t being hyperbolic. He really is a fucking nazi.

Ketamine is a hell of a drug.

What’s the tallest building now? Idk. I’m Gen X. I don’t give a fuck. Pluto is a planet.

Happy Collapse of the Republic to all who voted for it.

When I say I’m “wild in bed” I just mean that sometimes I throw things in my sleep and wake up perpendicular to the way I fell asleep.

This meeting could have been a cuneiform tablet. This email could have been a scroll of papyrus. This essay could have been a series of awl marks on an auroch's horn. We are always somewhere else.

The urge to unmute and yell NERRDDSSS like Ogre