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thescrollpatrol.bsky.social
We scroll the depths of the internet and bring you the critical fake news. Probationary Deputy of: https://thescrollpatrol.com
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Mike Johnson’s Son Receives Accountability App Alert of Sims Being Drowned During Work Hours Again

Marriage Called Off After Fiance Discovers Local Man Puts Shirts On with a Different Arm First Each Day

Uber Unveils ‘Uber Sports’: They Take Your Kid to the Game, Film the Whole Thing, and You Can Cherish the Memories—All From the Comfort of Your Phone

Jockey Teases Chicken Themed Line of Boxer Briefs

Supreme Court: It’s Only Corruption When You Don’t Admit It

Trump Finishes 15-Minute Test in Five Hours— “I got every question right!”

Trump Featured on New $100 Bill

Goth Rave Entered into Underpass Near Library of Congress

Schumer Determined to Pass SAVE Bill ASAP in Order to Have Extra Time to Ignore the Consequences

Trump Aide: “Never explain a plan. That way, it always goes according to plan.”

Tom Cruise Once Again Asks You to “Trust Me, One Last Time” for Upcoming ‘Torment Nexus’ Trilogy

Company Given Tariff Exemption After CEO Legally Changed Name to Donald J. Trump Jr

Mental Health App Uses Captcha to Identify Childhood Trauma

Elon Musk Leaves Orbit to Claim Gamer Rank #1 in Space Ladder

Begun the Trade Wars Have

Study: 98% Of Americans Only Read Headlines

Game Night Host Deathly Serious About Chopsticks for Cheetos Rule

To Celebrate 50 Years, Microsoft Revives Beloved Internet Explorer in Windows 10 Forced Update

Department of Geriatric Extravaganzas Siphons Funds for Presidential Birthday Party

Game Night Host Deathly Serious About Chopsticks for Cheetos Rule

Somehow, “in these unprecedented times” returned

Sports Betting Sites Target 401k-Liquidators with 'Risk-Free' Parlay Funds

Local Municipality Adds 100% Tariff to Trader Joe’s Until Residents Can Make Their Own Joe-Joe’s

BREAKING— Kaiju Penguin Spotted Approaching Washington

Introvert Panic Deletes Post After Receiving a Comment

White Lotus Finale Hype—Oh No! Moo Deng to Somehow Find Gaitok’s Gun and Start Blasting