Profile avatar
thespoony.bsky.social
337 posts 429 followers 117 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter
Posts 31 Comments 19

The French just see the R as a gateway to other far worse letters that they’d rather emphasize.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Clark Kent: Hey did you all see Superman this weekend? He was going totally brazzbo. Coworkers: Uh yeah. We’re going to print that he went faster than a speeding bullet. Clark Kent: I think he would like if we said he was going totally brazzbo. I think he would like if we tried to get that going.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

I didn’t know “yw” meant “you’re welcome.” All these years I thought is was “you wish” oh god I’ve burned every relationship I have, I’m utterly alone. Why didn’t someone explain this to me?

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

It’s funny that it wouldn’t take much for little X to suddenly find himself outside of Elon’s graces and completely iced out.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t want to kill the raccoon that’s decided my porch is his executive washroom, but I would like to catapult it far from here.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Checking in with Project Runway after a few years and it’s a much bitchier show. Plus the host is a Kushner? Is this how everything is now? Does Tim Gunn need company or a visitor?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Amazon’s new James Bond will be wearing a sleeveless fleece and beating the hell out of a teenaged Swedish green terrorist named Gretal Thurnburn.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Great am I about to be drafted to fight Ukraine now?

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

I’d like to congratulate Rush Limbaugh on his four years of sobriety

submitted 6 days ago • 30 comments

I’m watching a live satellite feed of the SNL red carpet. Charles Rocket’s ghost has possessed Paul Simon’s body and is running around kicking everyone in the dick.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

I’m still trying to recover from that photoshoot of Walton Goggins’ house.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Emil Bove looks like a swatch of the year by Pantone called. “Last Avacado.”

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Emil Bove looks somehow neither cool gray or warm gray.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Emil Bove looks like he’s about to shed his Emil Bove skin.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Emil Bove looks like he permanently holding a flashlight under his face.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Emil Bove looks like he’s dying of a disease called “Henchman’s Fatigue.”

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Emil Bove looks like he’s had a toothache for 20 years.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Emil Bove looks like Seinfeld Sith Lord.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

The price of going to bed early is waking up four hours later and posting.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

RFK Jr has already used the CDC to access our nudes and is sharing them with his friends.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

My criticism of Amazon’s Ring camera privacy practices is about to go out the window because I just need to know what kind of animal is shitting on my porch.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Welp, get your kids vaccinated before this weekend.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

A talking hairline from a 1962 pomade ad is running the Pentagon.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I just have to assume any grant that gets approved now had to have some patriotic paragraph written into it about how this piece will explore how Americans are totally captive to foreign auto manufacturing.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Millions of years from now an alien civilization will find cyber trucks on mars with skeletons inside of them and I hope they at least think they’re the sarcophagus’s of kings and not astronauts who didn’t last a day.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Bitch where are you commuting from every morning?

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

FYI if you post a links to your band’s new song and there is no Bandcamp link, I will say “c’mon man,” and move on.

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

Who says rock and soul is too retro? @wfmurocknsoulradio.bsky.social is cutting a rug and cutting edge on BlueSky with the best of them!

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Sure, I’ll answer 25 detailed questions about Creature Commandos.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

The Oops, You Got Ethnically Cleansed doctrine.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

I would hate to be drafted into service of Galactus as his herald. Having my nude body wrapped in a revealing cosmic shiny metallic coatings would be humiliating and distract from the message. Lol the Silver Schlub is here what could this loser possibly have to say?

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments