theunrivaledjake.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

God dammit

submitted 57 minutes ago • 0 comments

My philosophy stems mostly from Confucius. My weekly church visit is Panda Express.

submitted 6 hours ago • 1 comment

Jake’s quick tips #1: Never go through a six-pack of Voodoo Ranger in one night. The next day will not be kind.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Just watched Gladiator 2 1. Why would you include sharks in the Colosseum if it’s historically inaccurate? a. How would they acquire healthy sharks? b. How would they transport healthy sharks? 2. Why would you not include old fat Russell Crowe in a dream sequence. Give the people what they want.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Finna get my Severance hat on tonight

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

This must hit so hard if you're mentally unstable

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

My sister's dog living the good life

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I'm pretty sure Jesus was the wokest dude

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Hot take: Not enough plane crashes

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

So glad SNL is dead now

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Jason Statham stars in movies like The Transporter, The Beekeeper, The Mechanic. Why is his next movie called A Working Man instead of THE Working Man? I don't ask for much dammit.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

If you're sleep derived and push that 🅿️ you are sleep de🅿️rived. I'm so fucking tired.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Philly shall burn

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Time of death for Aubrey Graham, the artist formerly known as Drake: 8:37pm 2/9/2025

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

State Farm currently cancelling Mahomes’ insurance

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

I really think AI is writing the commercials about AI

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

I can’t believe Kendrick Lamar started his set with Meet the Grahams and ended with Not Like Us while setting Drake on fire in front of everyone (I’m in Eastern Time)

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

The NFL script stays alive #thankyourefs

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Welp time to burn all ties with Kanye

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

If Britt Lower doesn't win every award for Severance I'll be mad as hell. Absolutely fantastic acting job. Everyone on that cast is so damn talented.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

The definition of irony is hating immigrants so much to keep them out of your country that you allow one to effectively rule your own government

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Skeet #69

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Kendrick winning Record of the Year and the whole Grammy crowd singing the Not Like Us "A-Minor" part is no doubt the funniest outcome

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

The Beatles win Best Rock Performance The Rolling Stones win Best Rock Album This is the 2025 Grammys

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

NBA was so desperate to get people talking about it again they needed to send an already sport devastated city to the shadow realm.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

Josh Allen died like a dog. He died like a coward. The world is now a much safer place. Shameful Hailee had to see such a horrible performance. She deserves better, and it was proven tonight.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

I’m ready for tonight

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Project 2025: Political Blitzkrieg

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

Heard that doink from my apartment

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

BREAKING: A crowd of angry Catholics have started an inquisition in downtown Atlanta. More to follow.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

My mother is an all time Ohio State fan and I love her dearly. That said, I can tell you that Ohio State and Notre Dame have some of the absolute worst fan bases in America.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

We've become, now, an oligarchy instead of a democracy. I think that's been the worst damage to the basic moral and ethical standards to the American political system that I've ever seen in my life. - Jimmy Carter, 2015

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

God dammit

My philosophy stems mostly from Confucius. My weekly church visit is Panda Express.

Jake’s quick tips #1: Never go through a six-pack of Voodoo Ranger in one night. The next day will not be kind.

Just watched Gladiator 2 1. Why would you include sharks in the Colosseum if it’s historically inaccurate? a. How would they acquire healthy sharks? b. How would they transport healthy sharks? 2. Why would you not include old fat Russell Crowe in a dream sequence. Give the people what they want.

Finna get my Severance hat on tonight

This must hit so hard if you're mentally unstable

My sister's dog living the good life

I'm pretty sure Jesus was the wokest dude

Hot take: Not enough plane crashes

So glad SNL is dead now

Jason Statham stars in movies like The Transporter, The Beekeeper, The Mechanic. Why is his next movie called A Working Man instead of THE Working Man? I don't ask for much dammit.

If you're sleep derived and push that 🅿️ you are sleep de🅿️rived. I'm so fucking tired.

Philly shall burn

Time of death for Aubrey Graham, the artist formerly known as Drake: 8:37pm 2/9/2025

State Farm currently cancelling Mahomes’ insurance

I really think AI is writing the commercials about AI

I can’t believe Kendrick Lamar started his set with Meet the Grahams and ended with Not Like Us while setting Drake on fire in front of everyone (I’m in Eastern Time)

The NFL script stays alive #thankyourefs

Welp time to burn all ties with Kanye

If Britt Lower doesn't win every award for Severance I'll be mad as hell. Absolutely fantastic acting job. Everyone on that cast is so damn talented.

The definition of irony is hating immigrants so much to keep them out of your country that you allow one to effectively rule your own government

Skeet #69

Kendrick winning Record of the Year and the whole Grammy crowd singing the Not Like Us "A-Minor" part is no doubt the funniest outcome

The Beatles win Best Rock Performance The Rolling Stones win Best Rock Album This is the 2025 Grammys

NBA was so desperate to get people talking about it again they needed to send an already sport devastated city to the shadow realm.

Josh Allen died like a dog. He died like a coward. The world is now a much safer place. Shameful Hailee had to see such a horrible performance. She deserves better, and it was proven tonight.

I’m ready for tonight

Project 2025: Political Blitzkrieg

Heard that doink from my apartment

BREAKING: A crowd of angry Catholics have started an inquisition in downtown Atlanta. More to follow.

My mother is an all time Ohio State fan and I love her dearly. That said, I can tell you that Ohio State and Notre Dame have some of the absolute worst fan bases in America.

We've become, now, an oligarchy instead of a democracy. I think that's been the worst damage to the basic moral and ethical standards to the American political system that I've ever seen in my life. - Jimmy Carter, 2015

Today is about equality. Today is about everyone at work equally not wanting to be here.

How some of y’all be acting with TikTok gone

Chiefs not beating the ref-job allegations

My life with TikTok My life without TikTok

Times were better when you hit a piece of technology it’d start working again