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thinlyveiledpanda.bsky.social
Occasionally funny on the internet. I'm better in the comments - but not like, that much better Have created feed, am basically software engineer: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:osqxtkaxilkfbenv27xafc4w/feed/aaae3ja5l27ue
6,953 posts 2,551 followers 862 following
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Posts 42 Comments 8

A combination costume shop and religious gathering place - A Blessing in Disguise

submitted 6 hours ago • 1 comment

I don’t need instant gratification. I’m willing to wait that 0.01s while you hit the ‘like’ button

submitted 6 hours ago • 2 comments

If you ever find me dead on the floor, let me save you the autopsy. I was making lazy cinnamon buns and the tube popped open unexpectedly

submitted 6 hours ago • 2 comments

sparks were flying on my date. i shouldnt have brought my welding kit

submitted 9 hours ago • 1 comment

You know how laughter is the best medicine, and all that? Well, it fucking IS.

submitted 9 hours ago • 3 comments

you are the grid between my pixels

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

watching the moon rise over the mountains

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

I’m in my spirit fingers era.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

I hated backstreet boys in the 90’s, now I need the choreography IMMEDIATELY.

submitted 21 hours ago • 1 comment

At my age, I’m somewhere in between hardcore and grandma core.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

It’s not box wine, it’s chateaux collapseaux.

submitted 21 hours ago • 3 comments

Scientists say a lot of things but never in a kazoo, never in a harmonica. Once did they fail at these and twice did they then realize how little they knew of the simple act of breathing or stamina or practicing for a kiss under guise of a hootenanny

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

My depression cheers your depression.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Idk who needs to hear this, but ghostwriters are not actually ghosts.

submitted 83 days ago • 20 comments

Things I hate doing: - Looking at pictures I’m not in. - Looking at pictures I’m in.

submitted 85 days ago • 6 comments

When one door closes, order pizza, eat it all by yourself then take a nap.

submitted 85 days ago • 13 comments

Girls just wanna h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶n̶ eat whatever they want without gaining weight.

submitted 87 days ago • 12 comments

I read far too many awful posts while trying to give people the benefit of the doubt.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

The cat has the nerve to come home looking for treats still smelling of the fried chicken he scrounged off the landlady for lunch.

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

Sour Patch Kids as an amuse bouche

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

ALERT: Today I am officially divorced from the woman who called The Tragically Hip "Canada's most famous garage band"

submitted 2 days ago • 22 comments

The biggest lie 90s dudes told was that there was anything in that wallet worth chaining up

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

Why are the stupidest people also the loudest

submitted 1 day ago • 16 comments

They're working really hard to represent entrances, concourses and foyers. They're a lobby group.

submitted 131 days ago • 0 comments

[me, being stabbed] “Were you the one calling from inside my house?”

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

Licorice is what happens when you let depression into the candy factory

submitted 11 hours ago • 6 comments

I am woman, hear me roar loud expletives when I'm trying to parallel park.

submitted 89 days ago • 18 comments

If Lego Batman and Lego Joker could put their differences aside and join their tiny little Lego hands in order to save Lego Gotham, I see no reason why humanity can't do the same.

submitted 88 days ago • 7 comments

Accidentally referred to AOC as “AOL” and now everyone knows I’m old.

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

Runner’s high is a myth propagated by Big Cardio

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Cacheus Clay, the famous boxer composed entirely of temporary Internet files

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

My posts may seem a bit psychotic but I'm a perfectly nice, normal woman, sitting outside your window, eating rocks

submitted 11 hours ago • 8 comments

Maybe your dog keeps bringing you the ball back because it thinks that you enjoy throwing it.

submitted 57 days ago • 5 comments

Most of the places I don't ever want to go back to are people.

submitted 57 days ago • 1 comment

thinking about getting a neck tattoo to really put an exclamation point on this midlife crisis

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

let me fall into your web and never get free

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

i'd accidentally sit backwards facing on a 5 hour train ride for you

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Coworker: Didn’t you like my joke? Me: It was so unfunny, I’m not sure you can even legally call it that.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

If your wife says she wants chocolate and strawberries for Valentine’s Day, mixing Count Chocula and Frankenberry is not good enough. I know this now.

submitted 62 days ago • 12 comments

Capri Sun packages were designed to teach kids how to do emergency tracheotomies

submitted 78 days ago • 30 comments

ME: babe! i’m almost done stacking all these empty la croix! MRS: that’s not how a pyramid scheme works [loud clanging of cans]

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

The good news is I did physical labor yesterday. The bad news is I did physical labor yesterday.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment