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thirstyassalt.bsky.social
Where I post dumb jokes and dirty pictures, 36, mdni , poly/enby/queer, dms open to compliments. PNW by way of Appalachia. Free Palestine, BLM
487 posts 110 followers 122 following
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Posts 31 Comments 19

Sex on the third date? How old fashioned. Let’s get married.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

ugh

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Having a crush in your 30s is bullshit, what do you mean I want to pine for someone? I got bills to pay

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

I hate being needy like what the fuck do you mean I want attention? Don’t you know you could be watching sick monster truck tricks on YouTube?

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

My favorite part of going to the gym is I’ve got this fucking dump truck now. Cane out of nowhere. No idea what to do with it but it’s neat

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Jogged six miles, dogshit coworker announced they’d returning, about to have a nice little coffee hang. Sorry Garfield this is a good Monday

submitted 37 days ago • 1 comment

Oscar noms? Yeah I got one for you, best grouch!

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

I was a little cutie last night so I’m sharing it with the world

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

Fuck his executive orders. #NonBinary #NBPride

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 46 days ago • 169 comments

Mass deportations are starting on Tuesday, please spread the word, THIS IS NOT DRILL!

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Judge, Judy, and Executioner

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Movies I cry at as a scale for how depressed i am: Up - Fine, this is human Home Alone - Uh oh Captain America: The Winter Soldier - oh geez oh fuck

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry I’m not gonna get any work done today, I’m reading about famous prison escapes and that sounds better than data entry

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

I’m watching ER all the way through for the first time and as a kid I was all about Noah Wyle but as an adult, Eriq La Salle…hello

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Just rewatched Raiders of the Lost Ark and movies nowadays don’t have heroes who are always lowkey horny

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

I am too tired to existence and respectful ask to cancel today and try again tomorrow

submitted 57 days ago • 1 comment

Self loathing is weirdly high today so I’m doing my best to not just eat my feelings

submitted 59 days ago • 2 comments

I think it would be cool to have big Popeye arms and I’m tired of pretending otherwise

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

Are we pro workout photos here? Anti? What’s the move?

submitted 60 days ago • 1 comment

Aw geez i was cute again last night sorry everyone

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to do more standup and last night I got back out there and my new joke worked well so hopefully that’s a sign of things to come

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

I want to use this site more but sometimes it feels like everyone is talking in code I’m having trouble following

submitted 61 days ago • 1 comment

Unfortunately I’m still cute in 2025 sorry to my haters

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

I should be hornier on this website

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

Alright 2025 let’s live

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

Woke up looking cute and beefy if you’re into that

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

New Year’s Eve I wanna be doing hand stuff at the stroke of midnight

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

Me leaving my parents’ today:

submitted 68 days ago • 1 comment

My flight was supposed to leave twenty minutes ago and now thanks to delays it won’t leave for another hour and a half and boy do I hate this

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

Merry Christmas reminder I am cute

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments