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thisguyisagiraffe.bsky.social
I make tippity tap on keyboards, and clickity clack with math rocks. Pics are taken with a Canon 5D or phone camera.
339 posts 98 followers 126 following
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They pit us against each other so that they can rob us blind while we fight over the literal scraps.

submitted 2 hours ago • 39 comments

Please don’t confuse my exhaustion for lack of vision. I’ve seen the future. It sucks.

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

Signs of the robot uprising: the Roomba turning the Dyson floor fan on and off, each time it bumps into it.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

"That's why I love parties, because they're efficient. There's something wrong with me." --Brennan Lee Mulligan

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

I quite enjoy that hashtags have been relegated. I always hated them. #Blessed #NoFilter #LiveLaughLove #ThisIsNotAnEngagementStrategy

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

Brilliantly put

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

Playing Far Cry 6. Oluso is everything I wanted Chicharrón to be.

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

If I go down, I’m taking the Slack thread with me.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Love when I cry over a book and someone says “it’s just fiction.” So is your personality, babe.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

If I had a dollar for every time I kept my mouth shut when I should’ve burned a bridge, I could afford therapy for the reasons I didn’t.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

If you say “let’s circle back” to me unironically, I will light a candle and begin the curse.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 383 comments

Can’t tell if I’m evolving or just becoming more unhinged in a slightly more articulate way

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Chat we are cooked. Pun in 10 did.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Dear god let this man cook.

submitted 2 days ago • 1146 comments

I consider it a great failing that I have never read Anne Carson. I've had people compare my work to hers--which is flattering, even without knowing her work. I'll at least read Autobiography of Red this year. Her body of work is kind of daunting.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I poured the last of a container of mixed nuts over some Greek yogurt, not realizing that I gave myself a salt bomb.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Someone said that dandelions are little suns that turn into little moons that turn into little stars, and I fuck with that.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

How do soccer players slide on their knees without getting utterly lacerated?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I posted about not playing video games, and then I panicked, and started playing video games, and now I'm not reading

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Realizing I need to start submitting work to journals again is soul-crushing by itself.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

What is it called when you hate people, but love humanity?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Never too old for Snoopy and Woodstock

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I love fresh strawberries for breakfast, but sometimes dealing with the stems first thing in the morning is too much for me to handle.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Is there anything heavier than two cat paws on your chest?

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Me: works on book of poems for several years Also me: finally puts it all together into one file, expecting it to be book-length-ish Book: is 26 pages Me (but angry): I do not want to write a chapbook

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Learning I am allergic to certain metals has been a very frustrating, itchy, and expensive endeavor.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

One fine Sunday, I will once again have the motivation to do the NYT crossword, but this is not that day.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

"We all put our pants on one leg at a time." Not me, I jump into mine both legs at once. I have only concussed myself in this manner a few times.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I cannot describe how much I love the NYT Connections puzzle. As much as I enjoy solving them, I quite enjoy thinking about how to construct one. Not enough to try, but enough to really give it a good think.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I love a song that sounds like the band recorded it in one take at 3am in a warehouse somewhere in the midwest.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Speaking of AI, I find AI art fascinating for a lot of reasons. The flagrant theft of it all, being one, but a less insidious curiosity is a deep desire to see the prompts that some people enter in order to output certain images.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Wondering if I could prompt an LLM to write a lengthy short story that I actually enjoy. "Ok, computer, write a new Raymond Carver story."

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes I listen to early 2000s garage rock like I’m trying to claw my way back into a dive bar that hasn’t existed since 2011.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

The USDA has withdrawn a plan to impose stronger safety regulations limiting salmonella levels in raw poultry. Who was the biggest donor to Trump's inauguration fund? Pilgrim’s Pride — one of the largest chicken processors in the country. See how this works?

submitted 6 days ago • 281 comments

There's something about reading a really dense narrative which I find utterly compelling that makes me want to simply stop reading that narrative entirely .

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

PhD Timeline xkcd.com/3081

submitted 6 days ago • 610 comments

My favorite UI pattern is the one where the user opens the app and then closes it immediately because the dread is too much.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Wearing vetiver like I just buried something delicate and unmentionable in the woods.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 7 days ago • 170 comments

I took a day off from posting, which basically means I forgot to update my Buffer queue.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I've been at war with sleep my entire life

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Me, playing Far Cry 6: Wow, this game is awesome, I can't figure out why it got such poor reviews! Me, gets to the part where there is a trans character: Oh

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Not to be dramatic, but every time someone says “we’re like a family” at work, I want to unionize out of spite.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I want a D&D character who’s just really good at bureaucracy. No combat, just form-filling proficiency.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Watching Dropout reminds me that the best comedy doesn’t just come from jokes—it comes from trust between the people making it.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

2 of 2: This ensures I pour them out in order of how soon they go bad. This leaves one day which has a perfect distribution of all three berries (the blueberries tend to sneak past the blackberries). Today is that day of perfect distribution.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

1 of 2: I keep raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries on stock year around. When I get them, I put them all in the same container, layered with blueberries on the bottom, and raspberries on top.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I think we can all agree that trespassing is the best crime.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments