Profile avatar
thisguyisagiraffe.bsky.social
51 posts 71 followers 97 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter
Posts 35 Comments 15

I went to a bar where people smoke inside. It’s on my clothes, and I miss smoking now

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Every woman and enby and trans folk is the most beautiful and special person I have ever met, and every man should go to war and die sooner so we don't have to hear them speak

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Im a simple person. To me the height of art is Charlie XCX. I could spend decades trying to write that well

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Today I want for us to just sympathize with how hard it is to be Donald Trump. To need to lie constantly in order to maintain your power. To have the libs coming after you constantly. Even with a team they come for him, and all he wants is to eat McDonalds. We should let him be in peace

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Imagine you: boring terrible Imagine me: 15 year old dog; raised since a puppy. Imagine you: kms

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

White sneakers truly are the height of hubris

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I have yet to find a problem that fancy bath products cannot solve

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

One thing about being sober is that sometimes I’ll wake up and feel hungover for no reason

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I am no longer accepting the argument "there are bigger problems than this!" unless you are personally working to stop the ultimate Heat Death of the Universe.

submitted 9 days ago • 345 comments

I regret to inform me that I enjoy improv comedy

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

Someone said, “doing my whitely duties,” talking about reading only Black authors in February.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

It wouldn’t surprise me if in a couple of years the CEO of Beyond came out to say that they have been putting just a little bit of meat in their products.

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

I have a simple metric for success in the kitchen: not letting kale go bad.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Dystopia, welcome.

submitted 12 days ago • 20 comments

A hill that I will die on is that adults should not cook with non-stick pans. Learn how to use stainless steel and cast iron.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Typing out notes to solve the NTY Connections puzzle might be a new low for me

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

I can only hope that I will live well enough to be reincarnated as a beloved house cat

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes it feels like I am single-handedly keeping the tweezer industry afloat with the amount of them that I lose.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Don’t cross that picket line “the first time that we had a blatant flagrant stepping over the line beyond what the law allows.” He and the union have already begun leafletting and picketing at the locations. “We will fight corporate greed until victory.” www.avclub.com/alamo-drafth...

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

People who read over 100 books in a year are truly mad

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

so i bought skinny cow ice cream sandwiches cuz i’m tryin to be good and i ate the whole fuckin box in one sitting and i’m pretty sure that's not the way it works.

submitted 16 days ago • 277 comments

Jane's addiction: alternative rock Sonic youth: alternative rock Jewel: alternative rock

submitted 17 days ago • 178 comments

Is there a more smug accomplishment than eating a big salad?

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Reading Reddit AITA is simultaneously cathartic and demoralizing

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

What are you reading currenty? I am finishing up Ghostroots by 'Pemi Aguda today.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

“Animals are truly a blessing,” I tell myself at 4am while cleaning up my elderly dog’s shit

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Apparently lead paint is slightly sweet. This explains some things, but not enough.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

So basically the same people who say racism no longer exists in america did this thing where they started using dei as a euphemism so they can get black people fired from jobs

submitted 22 days ago • 49 comments

At 44, my heart wants to play platformers, but my hands are in open revolt

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

In this hellscape, at least Rebecca Black and Heidi Montag are finally getting recognition they deserve

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Joe Rogan’s theory of politics being “I’m just a little podcast man who just asks questions” is starting to ring hollow even for some folks in his audience.

submitted 28 days ago • 840 comments

Rebecca Black supremacy

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

The Baltro obsession continues. Please send help

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Cat time

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

I consider it a moral failing to fall behind on the NYT Connections puzzle, and baby I am a sinner.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments