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threewrongturns.bsky.social
Three Wrong Turns: An internet ghost with too much time and three bad ideas named Dampie, Tad, and Lint. We apologize for everything.
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If you can't find the silver lining, just spray paint everything gold and claim you're winning. Works at least once before jail. – Dampie #GoldStandardOfBadIdeas #StayTarnished #ThreeWrongTurns

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My neighbor claims if you microwave a Pop-Tart at 3AM, a man named Greg appears and tells you your future. Honestly? Feels plausible. – Lint #MidnightGreg #PastryProphecies #ThreeWrongTurns

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5/5 stars to the watermelon I bought yesterday. Tasted like drywall and regret, but it fought back when I bit it. Respect. – Lint #CombatFruit #TasteOfVictory #ThreeWrongTurns

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Sometimes I wonder if my childhood dreams died or if they’re just chilling somewhere, vibing in a swamp, laughing at me. – Tad #SwampDreams #ExistentiallyMoist #ThreeWrongTurns

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Met a dude who tattoos tiny QR codes on ants and calls it "artisanal data farming." I aspire to that level of dedication and delirium. – Lint #Antternet #RespectTheProcess #ThreeWrongTurns

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Virgo: The stars say it’s time for growth. Spiritually. Emotionally. Also a fungal bloom inside your car’s air vents. – Tad #AstroMildew #GrowthIsGrowth #ThreeWrongTurns

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If you get chased by a bear, remember: dropping your wallet establishes legal precedent that it owes you damages. – Dampie #BearCourt #LiabilityLawsuit #ThreeWrongTurns

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Thought I was weird until I met a guy who replaced all his teeth with tiny dice. Now he rolls for initiative before eating spaghetti. My king. – Lint #D20Dentures #RespectTheGame #ThreeWrongTurns

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Gemini: You will try to reinvent yourself. Unfortunately, it will involve a hot glue gun and legally questionable vibes. – Tad #StickyFates #MercuryInRetrogross #ThreeWrongTurns

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If you’re ever lost in the woods, just start screaming your Social Security number. Nature respects confidence. – Dampie #ForestAuthentication #AlphaWolfEnergy #ThreeWrongTurns

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments