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🌍 Earth v.2025 – Patch notes, hotfixes, and new game-breaking bugs for the Timeline of Absurdity. ⚠️ Warning: This reality is still in beta testing. Expect bugs, glitches, and inexplicable nonsense. 📡 timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com
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If you have to leave Earth to feel love… that’s telling.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

☕🔥 The Brewpocalypse is here. Fictional blends. Real catharsis. Coffee, Chaos, and Collapse—now live on the blog. Because if we’re spiraling, we’re doing it caffeinated. 👉 timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/04/07/c... #Brewpocalypse #SacredAbsurdity #CoffeeIsMyRitual #Satire

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

What started as a fun personal tarot reading became something else. The World reversed. The Devil reversed. No map. Just vibes. A nudge to share that I can't ignore. mylettersfrombeyondthefire.com/2025/04/03/t... #tarot #occultsky #tarotsky #spirituality

submitted 17 days ago • 5 comments

📜 Timeline Patch Notes v2025.4.1 ✨ 🎙️ Poetic Justice Hotfix v25.0.1 🔥 Senator Cory Booker officially shattered a racist 67-year-old record on the Senate floor with 25 hours of fire, truth, and unapologetic democracy. (1/3) #CoryBooker #Resistance

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

⚠️ Known Issue: National security protocols are still nerfed. Players should not expect consistency between state secrets and Marvel trailers. Movie studios remain at max secrecy tier.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

The shock and awe is supposed to overwhelm us and by God it feels like it’s working some days. Take a break. Take a walk. Take a smoke. Take a drink. Whatever you need. And then come back.

submitted 27 days ago • 184 comments

🛠️✨ Timeline Simulation Patch v2025.3.25.🧠❌ deployed. Communications glitched. Reality broke harder. The cats are tired, the raccoons are horrified, and the squirrels are thriving. Absurdity mode remains active. 📜🐿️ Full notes: timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/25/t... #satire #PatchNotes

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

🛠️ Patch Note Incoming: Narrative Control Subsystem Corrupted. Increased Public Awakening Detected. Caesar.exe has encountered an unexpected betrayal. Updating timeline...

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

🔹 Hotfix Detected: Bedtime Glitch in Child v2.0 may have been resolved. Patch: Activated self-initiation of sleep protocol at 9:30pm. Stability improvements: No late-night chaos, emotional breakdowns, or impromptu existential discussions about the universe (yet).

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

🚀 Timeline of Absurdity™ Special: Retrograde-palooza & Cosmic Shenanigans ⚠️ Warning: Multiple Retrogrades in Effect. Proceed with Snacks. timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/19/%... #TimelineOfAbsurdity #satire #astrologyFun #shenanigans #retrograde

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

🌿The fledgling potion fervently foamed into a #flocculent mass, babbling and bubbling with a strange new energy. In a hasty hiss, it simmered and stretched, promptly shattering in a shower of shimmering chaos.✨ #vss365

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

🚨 Timeline Patch v2025.3.11.🥴 🚨 – Reality Buffering… Please Hold 🛠 Gov & corporate fully fused (Tesla infomercial @ WH). 🔥 Foreign policy now WWE. Reality & satire indistinguishable. 🐛 Billionaires hoarding, rich playing victim, people voting for suffering.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

🚨 Patch 2025.3.9.⏰ - Daylight Regression Time 🕰️ System Clock Adjusted – Lost 1 hour. Gained existential dread. 🏛️ Historical Reboot Stuck – Some users still in 1939. 🔄 Spring Forward Bug – Progress rollback by legacy systems. 🔧 Fix Pending – Manual reinstallation of "Basic Human Rights” needed.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

If EVER you wanted a trained squirrel, this was it!

submitted 45 days ago • 7 comments

submitted 44 days ago • 7 comments

🚨 Security Patch 2025.3.7.🦅 - Malware Rollback (2) - ⚖️💰 Democracy Integrity Patch Failed – Rollback rejected. Safeguards insufficient. 🔥 Malware Removal Tool Suggested – Manual uninstallation may be required. ⚠️ WARNING: Further exposure to malicious propaganda may cause system-wide regression.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

🚨 Security Patch 2025.3.7.🦅 - Malware Rollback (1) - 🇷🇺 Critical Security Vulnerability Detected – Malicious entity attempting unauthorized control. 🍊 System Rollback Attempt: Error 47 – Removal failed. Corruption persists. See Error 45. 🖕 Firewall Breach – GOP compliance auto-reinstalled malware.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

📡 Welcome to the Timeline of Absurdity™ 🌀🔥 Documenting the unhinged patch notes of Earth v.2025—because reality is clearly still in beta testing. Expect: ✅ Weird bugs & glitches ✅ Confusing updates ✅ Cosmic nonsense 📌 Follow for updates. Buckle up. It’s only getting weirder. 🚀

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

🔥 Patch 2025.3.7.🥨 - Cosmic Dumpster Fire Edition - 🐍🐔 Cobra chickens updated with aerial combat for bald eagles feature. 🐭 Added confusion of transgenic mice with transgender. 🐈 Furry Agents of Chaos Engine™ updated with improved desk-clearing capabilities. 🌍 Enhanced world support for Ukraine.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments