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tomsop.bsky.social
idk I’m just saying stuff
15 posts 79 followers 167 following
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Posts 43 Comments 6

they’ve been out for 6 days they can’t help themselves

submitted 29 days ago • 635 comments

EA app can suck a fat one

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Yes I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

submitted 38 days ago • 9 comments

Instagram doesn’t really lend itself to favorite moments like Twitter did but I was just reminded of when Allison Tolman, not realizing that it was National Coming Out Day, posted a picture of herself with a friend saying they were “finally out” because they hadn’t gone out in a while

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

her breasts were dense and musky, like a trashbag full of wet leaves

submitted 39 days ago • 30 comments

Great job Congress. Truly superb job with your TikTok ban. Just fabulous.

submitted 44 days ago • 73 comments

my bush did 9/11

submitted 43 days ago • 53 comments

it's crazy that ppl used to die constantly from diarrhea. I've had diarrhea tons of times and never even came close to death! just another example of how everyone in olden times was a huge pussy

submitted 44 days ago • 129 comments

Every time I make a post my phone dispenses a nutrient pellet, I need these to live

submitted 43 days ago • 3 comments

UK women who suffer miscarriage should get two weeks’ paid leave, MPs say

submitted 43 days ago • 21 comments

there’s a german guy in my letterboxd feed who does 1000 word reviews in his native tongue for every film he watches and then appends a full english translation and i just love so much that this exists it’s so wonky and pure and genuine and one day i might even read one

submitted 51 days ago • 5 comments

Is it ISIS or ISIL? It’s for my LinkedIn profile

submitted 58 days ago • 26 comments

Mmm, cucumber water. All the flavor of cucumber, all the excitement of water

submitted 65 days ago • 21 comments

seasons greasons everyone

submitted 65 days ago • 49 comments

submitted 66 days ago • 232 comments

me liking every positive post about luigi mangione that comes on my timeline

submitted 65 days ago • 262 comments

The jump scare when you’re scrolling a man’s tinder photos and all of a sudden he’s bald

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

Happening now at Washington Square Park: A United Healthcare CEO shooter lookalike competition, including people who intentionally and unintentionally dressed the part.

submitted 81 days ago • 129 comments

if i were the NYPD i would try releasing some facts about the shooter that do not make him sound awesome

submitted 81 days ago • 275 comments

[christmas tree lot] me: i’ll take this one guy who puts it in a fishnet: want me to make it sexy?

submitted 81 days ago • 6 comments

My favorite detail of that CEO shooting video is the witness that realizes what's happening and starts to run away, but can't run too fast because they're holding a coffee and don't want to spill it.

submitted 84 days ago • 339 comments

oh wow

submitted 84 days ago • 313 comments

i am sorry to my gen x coworkers but you have to understand i am never, under any circumstances, going to answer a teams call without a message outlining why we need to talk first

submitted 85 days ago • 373 comments

The Muppet’s Christmas Carol II: Large Tim

submitted 87 days ago • 3 comments

Do Americans not clear the snow off of their cars before they get on the road??

submitted 86 days ago • 1 comment

I am a picking eater, and man, my taste bubs went off the roof.

submitted 86 days ago • 80 comments

I should’ve pardoned my son too. I let Jebus go through all that, and for what?

submitted 87 days ago • 722 comments

i don’t follow sports but i was told that i should be embarrassed by my alumni’s football game yesterday. i immediately panicked like “oh shit did i forget to coach the team again”

submitted 88 days ago • 1 comment

love my routine of brushing my teeth, bringing a book to bed, and reading 500 posts on my phone before falling asleep

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

[remembering that women like guys who are different] My favorite part of the popsicle is the stick

submitted 93 days ago • 6 comments

Can someone please make a Bluesky bot that periodically reminds us to hold space for the lyrics to Defying Gravity

submitted 93 days ago • 13 comments

how is it possible to be against the “international criminal court” without immediately questioning yourself

submitted 94 days ago • 103 comments

My wife & I tried role play but we kept fighting over who would be Mr. Bean

submitted 95 days ago • 209 comments

jerking off during a vasectomy and the dr trying to quickly make the correct cut like he’s disarming a bomb

submitted 95 days ago • 3 comments

Men will never know the pain of a midnight period shart & aftermath, and this displeases me

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

2014: the movie Idiocracy is basically a documentary 2024: the movie Idiocracy is a beautiful and aspirational look at a future brighter than our own. a tantalizing glimpse into a better world that has already slipped from our fingertips.

submitted 96 days ago • 423 comments

lying about having benjamin button disease during the job interview and showing up to work each day in progressively larger suits

submitted 95 days ago • 3 comments

doctor: make sure you drink plenty of fluids me: that’s literally all i drink

submitted 95 days ago • 114 comments

Wow. Imagine the shock for the Daily Mail when it finds out Tory plans were for fines of £5k - later reduced to £3k - for each missed heat pump sale. What Ed Miliband has done is to reduce that to £500. As @torstenbell.bsky.social says today Headline should read “Miliband slashes Tory boiler tax”

submitted 97 days ago • 151 comments

don’t put off until tomorrow what you can just avoid until you die

submitted 97 days ago • 19 comments

donald trumps hiring people with the one qualification needed: need to be pedophile

submitted 98 days ago • 111 comments

𝕏: "where'd all our users go?" suspiciously butterfly shaped app:

submitted 100 days ago • 1 comment

The ICC’s arrest warrants are long overdue. The Prime Minister & Foreign Secretary must immediately endorse this decision. That is the bare minimum. Will the UK government now, finally, honour its international obligations to prevent genocide and end all arms sales to Israel?

submitted 98 days ago • 76 comments