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tortured-poet-816.bsky.social

👑 816 ɴᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ 📍 ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀ • ᴀʀᴛɪꜱᴛ • ᴅᴏɢ ᴍᴏᴍ 🏹 ꜱᴇʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʙʏ ᴅᴇꜱɪɢɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴇxᴄʟᴜꜱɪᴠᴇ.🪬

748 posts 501 followers 727 following

Posts 32 Comments 18

✊🏽 Don’t forget! Stay home if you can, don’t buy gas, don’t order online, don’t spend a dime. Make your voice heard with the economic blackout on 2/28.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

My mom always insists I need a birthday cake 🎂 And for the last few years I’ve successfully managed at finding the cake and altering the saying This is the latest masterpiece 😆

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

🫡 Coooop 🗣️

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Coopers Hawk 🤌🏽

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Good morning Skyline! The sun is shining ☀️ KC is defrosting! Sundays have always been my favorite day of the week. 🤍 Do anything fun this weekend?

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Breakfast this morning is cantaloupe. But big and greedy is all up in my face like 👀

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

I know we have bigger things to worry about and the world is ending but anyone else concerned that we are going from -12° to 63° Cool cool cool.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Severance but for when you want to read the news

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I remember when making breakfast for dinner was a cheaper alternative.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

The devil: I’m coming for you Me: Well hurry TF up, this place sucks

submitted 5 days ago • 11 comments

I bet you Tom from MySpace wouldn’t have done this

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

NOSTRADAMUS: [rising from the grave] my bad, everyone

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

After this week, I need an old school chiropractor to crack my body in 20 places

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Jennifer Coolidge voice I want to be in a coma real bad

submitted 9 days ago • 9 comments

If my calculations are correct, fingers crossed, I should be able to retire at the age of 94 and live QUITE comfortably for the 2 days I’ll have left

submitted 9 days ago • 11 comments

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands ✈️ 👏🏽

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

There are people celebrating that pride was removed from official celebrations by this administration. Saying things like “pride is canceled” Oh honey… As if we needed your permission when pride started as a riot. 🏳️‍🌈 We’ll simply be going back to our roots 🧱

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

inviting you on an all paid all inclusive nervous breakdown

submitted 10 days ago • 26 comments

BREAKING: Almost everything

submitted 9 days ago • 11 comments

Morning news: Happy, funny (depending on who you watch) Evening news: Anxiety, depression. Makes me want to close the blinds, lock the door, crawl in bed at 6pm and watch Scooby Doo

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t think you could pay me to fly in a plane right now. Unless it was out of the country.

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t want to go outside again until the temperature is above my age.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

I’ll take one large coffee, hold the Monday.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Decency is not incentivized. But it is remembered. It is respected. And in the long run, it is the only thing that truly matters.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

📌

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

📌

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

✊🏽 Don’t forget! Stay home if you can, don’t buy gas, don’t order online, don’t spend a dime. Make your voice heard with the economic blackout on 2/28.

My mom always insists I need a birthday cake 🎂 And for the last few years I’ve successfully managed at finding the cake and altering the saying This is the latest masterpiece 😆

🫡 Coooop 🗣️

Coopers Hawk 🤌🏽

Good morning Skyline! The sun is shining ☀️ KC is defrosting! Sundays have always been my favorite day of the week. 🤍 Do anything fun this weekend?

Breakfast this morning is cantaloupe. But big and greedy is all up in my face like 👀

I know we have bigger things to worry about and the world is ending but anyone else concerned that we are going from -12° to 63° Cool cool cool.

Severance but for when you want to read the news

I remember when making breakfast for dinner was a cheaper alternative.

The devil: I’m coming for you Me: Well hurry TF up, this place sucks

I bet you Tom from MySpace wouldn’t have done this

NOSTRADAMUS: [rising from the grave] my bad, everyone

After this week, I need an old school chiropractor to crack my body in 20 places

Jennifer Coolidge voice I want to be in a coma real bad

If my calculations are correct, fingers crossed, I should be able to retire at the age of 94 and live QUITE comfortably for the 2 days I’ll have left

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands ✈️ 👏🏽

There are people celebrating that pride was removed from official celebrations by this administration. Saying things like “pride is canceled” Oh honey… As if we needed your permission when pride started as a riot. 🏳️‍🌈 We’ll simply be going back to our roots 🧱

inviting you on an all paid all inclusive nervous breakdown

BREAKING: Almost everything

Morning news: Happy, funny (depending on who you watch) Evening news: Anxiety, depression. Makes me want to close the blinds, lock the door, crawl in bed at 6pm and watch Scooby Doo

I don’t think you could pay me to fly in a plane right now. Unless it was out of the country.

I don’t want to go outside again until the temperature is above my age.

I’ll take one large coffee, hold the Monday.

Decency is not incentivized. But it is remembered. It is respected. And in the long run, it is the only thing that truly matters.

📌

📌

Unfortunately the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services You can rent it for $2.99 though

exactly 😭

Count me in, ladies!! 💙💙

We have serious grinch toes and zero interest in mom grooming them. 🫣🙄