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tpda-pres.bsky.social
The bones are their money, so are the worms.
84 posts 41 followers 53 following
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*Pink Floyd voice* So So you think you can tell Kenan from Kel…

A watched pot never boils. So what, you’re just gonna leave the room, come back later? I need that boiling water now. Don’t ask why.

Five miles in under 50:00. #progress

Your outtie is very good at Tecmo Bowl III Your outtie likes both black and green olives Your outtie loves the Police Academy movies Damn, this is getting depressing, you want me to keep going? Ok, your outtie has seen every episode of Saved by the Bell, including the College Years #severance

So, these fancy olives at the Tapas place, we just throw the pits on the floor like a peanut shell at a Texas Roadhouse?

“We’ll be having people perform in order of height, Paul Simon and Sabrina Carpenter, you’re up first,” - Lorne Michaels #snl50

“Cuz there’s you, and me and all other people”- Lifehouse Yep. That covers all the bases, doesn’t it?

It’s a well known fact that #JasonDerulo was hated by the executives at #Shazam because no one ever needed help identifying which songs were his.

Spoiler alert: if you have white boomer relatives, they dub this the "Worst Halftime Show Ever".

I think Brad Pitt just fixed America.

This new #draftkings feature of live betting movies you’re watching is awesome. Right now I’m watching some #Davidlynch What do you think of this betting line? Two female characters are on screen together. Will they kiss? Yes -1000 No +10000

With all this #Luka talk…..it’s kinda wild that the song from the 80’s “Luka” is about abuse (and not subtly) but it’s also kind of a jam so you kind of bop along to it.

Sweet vermouth, rocks with a twist.

When people label their kids as ages, such as, “Took 8 and 6 to the park today”, if you can do math you’re halfway to figuring out their password for literally everything.

Magic school bus? When I was a kid we just had a surly driver we called Evil Steve. You did not want to cross Evil Steve. But dammit if he didn’t get us to school on time like clockwork.

Kids grow up so fast. One day they’re watching #Bluey and the next day they’re watching #Eraserhead Which is really on me. I should not have left the #criterionchannel app open on the tv.

History repeats itself? No, no, that just can’t be. (Opens a history book) Oh dear.

For months and months and months I thought the line was "It don't need Jack Daniels kind of history", meaning, it could be a cheap whiskey, nothing fancy just get me a shot. Which makes sense. But, sure, I guess the actual line is fine too Shaboozey.

Had jury duty Left my water bottle there Justice was not served

Whenever I hear Alphaville’s “Forever Young” I always expect Jay-Z to bust in with “So we livin’ life like a video…”. But if he does or doesn’t I’m not disappointed.

It’s not often that Mitch McConnell and I agree on something.

Pretty sure you could say, “Oh, there’s a Jersey Mike’s in (insert town/city name here) now and be right over 80% of the time. #jerseymikes

If Notre Dame wins tonight there is one and only one person I will be happy for, and that is Jed Bartlett. #notredame #westwing

I see they’ve got the Mall all decorated for the #inauguration

(Said coyly) It’s always……………snowy in Philadelphia. Get it? Like the show.

Teenagers when all goes according to plan and Zuck buys Tik-Tok and Trump gets the credit.

I find it hard to believe the Lion would still be sleeping between all the weem a weays and the shrill A-Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee heeheeheehee wee um um away.

With the passing of #BobEuker it’s a good time to admit that I always thought the opening to the #MrBelvedere theme song started with “Streets off of China” instead of “Streaks on the China”. I didn’t know what it meant I just thought it was some cool adult slang.

#Landman come for the Tour-De-Force performance of Billy Bob Thornton. Stay to be lectured about the perils of green energy and how solar panels don't work when it's cloudy.

Is it too early to start the “Selma” is a Martin Luther King Jr. Day movie discourse?

Back to the Future 4: Marty’s kid is enlisted by Doc Brown to go back to the early 2000’s to ensure that Tom from MySpace wins the Social Media wars.

Bot followers are like my girlfriend from summer camp when I was younger. Are they real people? No. Will I still brag about them to my friends? Absolutely.

Missed opportunity: not making a parody of John Mayer’s “Your Body is a Wonderland” titled “Your brother’s in the Taliban”.

“Hold the Mayo,” the cheeky headline writer for the Boston Globe said with an air of confidence as he put the final touches on tomorrow’s Sports Page. He then gave himself a little chuckle knowing this would be his crowning achievement. #Patriots #Mayo

Citizens United may have strengthened the power of companies but it was the lesser known Kids Incorporated decision which paved the way.

I got a gift subscription to the Atlantic for Christmas. Do I have to, like, host dinner parties and shit now?

Squid Game was good. But it’s a missed opportunity to not have the guards sing the Oompa Loompa song when cleaning up corpses.

If this score holds and #Oregon loses, then the curse of two Steve Prefontaine movies coming out within a year lives on and keeps dreams of a title out of the Beaver State yet again.

“Perfect Days” Come for the stellar needle drops and existential thoughts on aging and existing. Stay for the tips on getting your toilets squeaky clean. #perfectdays

(1983) Bono: Ok, we did it, I've finished writing the perfect New Year's Eve song! They'll be singing it for decades to come as the definitive New Year's Eve anthem! The Edge: But, ummm, it's January 1st. Bono: Just changed Eve to Day. Problem solved. Robert Burns: That was a close one.

#EvilDoesNotExist Come for the beautifully haunting score. Stay for the Japanese residents with extremely knowledgable foresight on the environmental impact of septic locations.

This whole #diehard is a Christmas movie thing has jumped the shark. Now the episode of #happydays where #fonzie jumped the shark? That was a Christmas movie!