twiggypeas.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

me as an ancient person writing an ancient text: let's phrase this in an incomprehensibly terse way to save brushstrokes, leaving the explication to oral tradition and making it little more than a mnemonic aid intended for those already in the know lol my colleague: good idea lol

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Home alone and choking to death, frantically doing dishes and laundry so police won’t think I lived this way.

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

unsay that story

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

Don't think I'll ever nail the spelling of silhouette in one go. Just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me.

submitted 8 days ago • 9 comments

You and me both, Uni

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

If having a dog isn't the same as having a child, then why did my Chihuahua spit the spinach I gave him on the ground then immediately start begging for more spinach

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

sorry for not responding to your email sooner, as you probably suspected i hate you specifically

submitted 10 days ago • 4 comments

It Only Tuesday

submitted 10 days ago • 25 comments

roughly every five years, harsh bangs come back. roughly every 8 years, moustaches come back. rarely, but sometimes, they coincide. we are in this moment. we have entered the singularity.

submitted 13 days ago • 11 comments

Hiding in the underbrush from predators and emerging at dusk is the latest trend forecast for 2026

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

If I have seen far, it is because I have stood atop the shoulders of giants. This is the core of my SeeFar system, the revolutionary new technology I thought of all by myself.

submitted 15 days ago • 3 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 380 comments

People will always say they’re your friend and they support you no matter what but then they’ll say some toxic shit to you like “you have to let go of the cursed amulet, it’s changing who you are” and “don’t let its power corrupt you” all because they want the amulet for themselves

submitted 15 days ago • 138 comments

I didn't fuck around. Why do I have to find out

submitted 16 days ago • 65 comments

your day begins with sewers. it ends with sewers. it is sustained by sewers. sewers every day. sewers are life. life is sewers.

submitted 15 days ago • 24 comments

Think not, is my eleventh commandment; and sleep when you can, is my twelfth

submitted 17 days ago • 4 comments

Inconveniently realizing my self-worth exceeds my market value.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

a lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. now you're right. ok. my bad.

submitted 18 days ago • 171 comments

I think it's scary when people describe me as their friend when I'm not expecting. I didn't know that about you. That's weird

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Can cooking just pick a LANE? I mean is it feminine, masculine, or magic? Take simple mashed potatoes. First you give the potatoes a wee little bath, aaw. Then you add the mystical crystals that vastly improve their taste. Then you take a blunt instrument and assault them. It's all over the place.

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment

The good news: over the long run, stocks with be fine. The bad news: over the long run, the Earth will become uninhabitable

submitted 22 days ago • 34 comments

Every day I wake up to the news

submitted 22 days ago • 106 comments

They should invent a version of sleep where you aren’t tired when you wake up.

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

there’s something so enchantingly beautiful about one man saying “i’m going to throw this ball as hard as i can” and another guy with a bat saying “the fuck you are”

submitted 25 days ago • 14 comments

I’m trying but mostly I’m serving can’t

submitted 25 days ago • 22 comments

If you are punching down, if you are punching sideways, if you are wagging your fist about shit that doesn't impact you in the slightest, you are their perfect sucka. Wake yo' dumb ass up. Wake yo' dumb ass momma up too.

submitted 27 days ago • 37 comments

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller March 23,1960

submitted 33 days ago • 59 comments

Yes, Specimens of Printing Types (1897), sometimes it is like that.

submitted 32 days ago • 10 comments

Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days.

submitted 35 days ago • 2 comments

If you can't touch grass, at least kick rocks, or, failing that, hit the bricks. The point is materials science is a fascinating and expanding field.

submitted 36 days ago • 4 comments

Me (2 years ago): Might be nice if I let the cats taste a drop of this leftover cereal milk Me (present day): If I hide in the bathroom perhaps I can finish this before they figure out how to open doors

submitted 39 days ago • 5 comments

i have zero interest in most modern low budget shlock because it’s doing this self conscious “haha so bad it’s good just like the 80s!” thing. but you can’t produce that intellectually. you need to be trying to make a normal movie and have it come out wrong because you’re a crazy person

submitted 40 days ago • 59 comments

I’ve always been a bit of a chameleon.* *I turn bright red whenever I feel a single thing.

submitted 43 days ago • 4 comments

Sometimes I think the best thing I could do for my mental health is faking my own death

submitted 43 days ago • 3 comments

Kids know they always be running somewhere. Save your knees grasshopper, they gone betray you one day

submitted 44 days ago • 3 comments

Thought-canceling headphones

submitted 45 days ago • 2 comments

when you're outside and see a bubble floating around you can pop it if you want. it's 100% legal

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

my bedtime reminder pops up on my phone and I’m like oh no thank you I’m not taking suggestions from the little bitch factory tonight

submitted 46 days ago • 2 comments

Gender is a social construct, except with my cat. He's a little man

submitted 48 days ago • 2 comments