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twotothefifth.bsky.social
Gamer, parent, pet lover, guy who loves to cook.
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I won't be able to call him my kitten much longer.

My favorite "I answered the question that was asked, not was intended" moment was in high school, when a test question asked "Is the human body acidic or basic? Why?" The teacher wanted us to say acidic to help catalyze life-sustaining reactions. I said "because DNA is an acid."

*cops after finding 10 dozen eggs* We've acquired 6 dozen eggs being smuggled through the border

NANI?!

there is no reason our passports need to reference our genitals

A Brief History of Kids Today Have Too Much Freedom 🧵

‘Secretary’ used to mean “one entrusted with the secrets or confidences of a superior.” We are now just realizing that this should be obvious because the word ‘secret’ is right there…

Let's see... I have (or had) Final Fantasy 4 for the SNES, the PS1 *twice* (once the Japanese version, once the US version in Final Fantasy Chronicles), the GBA, the PSP (the one that was packaged with The After Years), the DS, and the Pixel Remaster version on PC. So yeah, 7 versions of FF4.

Former Vikings punter Chris Kluwe was arrested at a city council meeting after stating, “MAGA is explicitly a Nazi movement. You may have replaced a swastika with a red hat, but that is what it is,” before engaging in peaceful civil disobedience.

Wrote about how easy it is to claim you saved taxpayers billions when you just make shit up. But also how this is the Twitter Files all over again. The dumbest people don't know what they're looking at so it must be a conspiracy www.techdirt.com/2025/02/19/i...

Level of pepperhead: I keep gochujang in my fridge in part for when we order delivery poke bowls, because they never add as much as I want.

Frodo is trying to cope with static, doing his best.

The doctor says "I know what will help - come up with a comedy routine inspired by the great Pagliacci." "But Doctor..." the man says...

MAGA GOOFS: if we eliminate government jobs those departments will become more efficient so we have fired thousands of park rangers. EVERYONE: okay what about police officers? MAGA GOOFS: how dare you

The brave defender of the house is ever-vigilant.