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uncharteredstreets.bsky.social
London musings by Matt Haynes; also occasional depository for goings on at Sarah Records and suppository for what’s supposed to have gone on. UNCHARTERED STREETS: http://uncharteredstreets.co.uk
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Big beer. Small beer. Orientear. Leyton Engineer. @leytonorientear.com #leytonorient #lofc

There are obviously two sorts of East London cross-river derby: the Evil One (West Ham v Millwall) and the Good One (Orient v Charlton). Today, I am amongst angels. And Charlton fans. This - THIS - is East London, come on you O's.

It's always a choice between the canal and the Roman Road for this bit of the walk to the Orient. Today, it's the canal.

Do you like women? You do? Do you like Bristol? You do? Do you like @janeduffus.bsky.social? You don’t know, you’ve never met her? Well, now’s your chance, as she’s launching The Women Who Built Bristol Vol. 3 at the Bristol Old Vic next Monday with an evening of chat, laughter and singing. Signing.

The downside of living on a busy bus route is that every few minutes David Beckham’s groin goes past your window. #bulging #couldhaveyoureyeout

One day in 1987, @clarewadd.bsky.social and I hitched up to Birmingham to sit in on the mixing of SARAH 1. We got a lift off a man who told us he’d driven all the way from Plymouth and hadn’t slept. He dropped us in Redditch. We found a bus, ate sandwiches on the platform of Selly Oak station, [1/7]

Just to be clear, “rent man” here isn’t some euphemistic underworld slang, like “dentist”. Uncle Sonny was a rent collector, and the Krays’ gaff on Vallance Road was on his rounds. But they never once gave him any trouble, and he never once threatened to pull their teeth out with some pliers.

Just for the record, Chris from The Orchids has confirmed that he did indeed play drums on Sensitive, at the New Morning in Paris in January 1990. There are a couple of photos in his reply to the Facebook version of this post: fb.watch/xY5aU0uWqO/ #thefieldmice #theorchids #sarahrecords

There was once a time you couldn’t walk into a pub in Camden without the wild-eyed gibbering husk of a drummer who’d once tried to play along with The Field Mice’s senses-pummelling masterpiece Sensitive grabbing your arm and screaming “It can’t be done! I’m a human being, not a drum machine!” [1/3]

OK, OK, it seems I misunderstood. Jane is NOT trying to do to librarians what Thatcher did to the miners, she’s actually trying to publicise this book. I believe there’s even some sort of comedy knees-up at the Bristol Old Vic by way of a launch, and all are welcome. Even librarians. Apologies.

Being of good Bethnal Green stock, I obviously communicate entirely in Cockney rhyming slang. That said, those responsible for this… travesty… should be informed that the ghosts of Old Ford Road would like to ’ave a word; especially the ghost of my Uncle Sonny, as he was the Kray Twins’ rent man.

Anyone who enjoyed Jane’s book on Sarah Records and is wondering what she’s up to now might like to know that her one-woman campaign to destroy the library industry by making people buy her books instead of borrowing them now has some new tour dates. What?

For those who don’t know, it was Pete W. getting hold of the Sea Urchins’ demos that led to Sha-la-la releasing the Summershine flexi, without which… who knows where we’d all be now? Or where I’d have been last Wednesday – maybe not at the launch of Sensitive, catching up with Pete after 30++ years…

Walworth Road's new post office is now open (pic 1). Anyone wanting this post to be more interesting should note that the first person in London to die after slipping on a banana skin did so in 1904 outside the pub opposite (pic 2).* #walworth #camberwell #SE17 #SE5 *ref: Matt Brown @londonist.com

Culinary notes from yesterday: if you’re on Bermondsey Street and tempted by Capitalism’s coffee shop, Chapter 72 just up the road from Gail’s does a flat white for £3.30; also, the Palmeira in Leyton has cheap yet voluminous eggy baps, and a pad Thai in Leytonstone’s ace North Star remains £8.75.

Bit of a last-minute decision to come today, so not the greatest of seats. Ah well… here’s to some top corner-flag action: yes, a 6-0 stroll would be good for the goal difference, but if we’re not one up and down to nine men with 89 minutes on the clock, I’m demanding a refund. #lofc #leytonorient

There are people in Westfield wearing West Ham-Brentford half-and-half scarves. Words fail mealy worm toadstool hedgehog. Aargh, see what I mean?

I’ve been failing all day to find the right words to describe last night’s Sensitive launch; when actually all I need to do is say thank you to @petepaphides.bsky.social and everyone who played and sang for a truly magical evening, and post this photo of @heavenlyamelia.bsky.social and Clare Grogan.

Back in Smoke days, there were bookshops at the Oval, the Elephant, on Lower Marsh and in Camberwell that stocked us – not to mention one two streets from me in Kennington that refused to because “no one round here would be interested” – so it feels a bit odd to be cheering the existence of [1/2]

OK, Noel, one last time. The pitch at the Etihad is NOT smaller than the pitch at Brisbane Road. The pitch at the Etihad is FAR AWAY. #lofc #leytonorient

It’s a week since the 45 was pulled from Walworth Road, and we’re still coming to terms: Camberwell now has fewer buses to the Elephant, but a direct bus to Morden, so… swings and roundabouts, I guess. Though – he added sagely, tapping his nose – perhaps a shade more swings. #Walworth #Camberwell

If you loved what Jane Duffus did for Sarah Records but have always been sceptical she could do it on a wet Tuesday night in Stoke… sorry, sceptical she could do it for 750 women from Bristol you’ve never heard of, then this is for you. But don’t get distracted by the dog that ate its owner’s nose.

Now all I see if I close my eyes is Dan Happe arriving unmarked at the far post, I hear the whip-crack of leather on leather,* and then the ball is rising, rising, always rising. Are these endless replays how it will be for the rest of my life? Will the ball ever not rise? #leytonorient #lofc [1/2]

So the big question now is… do [cough] “own goals” qualify for Goal of the Month/Season/Decade/Century, or not? #lofc #leytonorient

Aaarghhh... cap or beanie, cap or beanie? Or is it just stupid to wear a hat to watch television? And do I need to wear anything else? #LOFC #leytonorient

The Orient-curious amongst you might like to know that today’s game against Man City is live on BBC 1 at 12.15pm. Please bear in mind that half our players are broken so we’ve had to borrow some. Even the jumpers we’ll be using for goalposts are on loan from Spurs. #lofc #leytonorient

JACK GREALISH: Flippin’eck, Mr Pep, ain’t this bostin’?! Look at all them pegs for me togs! PEP GUARDIOLA: No, Jack, this is… for everyone. JG [visibly confused]: Oh. Right. So… where do I put me kipper tie? PG [also confused]: Just stick it on the floor and tell John Stones not to kick it over.

Imagine, next week these turnstiles will be jammed with bewildered Man City fans wondering where their personal greeter and souvenir seat cushion are. Just wait till they find out what’s on the other side. As for now… this is East London… come on you O’s… #lofc #leytonorient

First coffee stop on the way to Brisbane Road. What with all the injuries and Man City in the cup next week, I really don’t know what I’m expecting from today; I think most O’s fans will probably be happy just as long as Stockport don’t wear their third strip. #leytonorient #lofc

... and one for old Smoke: a London Peculiar fans – pigeons in puddles! #smokealondonpeculiar #burgesspark #camberwell #walworth

One for old Field Mice fans. And, yes, the Gentle Spring LP is gorgeous – the missing response from Emilie on the last chorus of Comments in the Streams is a real lump-in-the-throat moment... and now you're going to have to head to the @skepwax.bsky.social shop to find out what I'm talking about...