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unlikely-survivor.bsky.social
He/Him, cisgender, heterosexual/ace. I'm a DV survivor, trying to navigate recovery, parenting, creating a healthy atmosphere for growth. I'm here to gain insight and to try to help others along the way.
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Agent Kraznov

Maybe maga/musk have to get to a certain point before anything decisive can be done. Like a pimple.

The very minute TikTok went dark I immediately changed my FB profile photo to black and deleted FB, Instagram and Messenger from my phone. This kicks off my social media detox.

So, before TikTok went down I downloaded all of my daughter's content that she has posted through the years and archived it. I'll be doing the same for both my kids' stuff on YouTube. They're not stopping with TikTok. The genie is out of the bottle.

Well, TikTok is officially down and it looks like Clapper is getting hit hard because it's not available either.

For my fellow TikTok refugees, you can find me on REDnote, my ID is 95686171343

My TikTok account @pipeandbeardguy (Unlikely Survivor) was just hacked. Please anyone who's interested in helping, go and report that account.

this isn’t funny, my nana died tripping over Arnold Palmer’s dong

In the years following my divorce I have not dated and had next to no interest in starting a new relationship. Part of me is terrified I'll run into more of the same. While I think I've made progress on my boundaries and recognizing toxicity, I'm still uncertain of myself.

It took the diligent work of a skilled therapist with an extensive background with DV survivors to pull me out of the darkness and show me the reality of my situation. I owe my life to that therapist. I believe therapy, with the right therapist, is crucial for abuse survival, and advocate for it.

Over the years I was forced to take accountability for things outside of my control. I took it upon myself to try to "fix" a doomed relationship, constantly chasing moving goalposts. I truly believed that our problems were all my fault and my job alone to fix.

This situation, however, keeps many survivors and current victims of abuse buried in shame and isolated from support, making the problem worse as time goes on.

The fact is, almost every abuse survivor out there, men, women, non-binary, etc. have reacted in unhealthy ways to being abused and that in no way magically turns them into the abuser - it means they're human, and never had a reason to develop healthy coping mechanisms for being abused.

It is especially hard for male survivors of abuse to come forward and find support when they admit that they have reached a breaking point and reacted in unhealthy ways. If what they have done can be stripped of all context and viewed as abusive, people will bend over backwards to do just that.

I watched as an eager collection of enablers lavished my abuser with sympathy and support, while looking at me like the most vile creature imaginable. This, I feel, is a common experience of actual abuse victims, particularly men who are abused by women.

When you flight back against an abusive person, especially one that society wants to view as "weaker", you will always be painted as the aggressor, regardless of the circumstances. This kept me silent for many years. Abusers rely heavily on this kind of thing.

My abuser was a woman, fairly feminine, though she has always been stronger than most would give her credit for. And strength is multiplied over and over when wielded by a manipulator. Others have asked why I didn't just fight her off. Truth is, I broke a few times and tried.

Men aren't taken as seriously when they allege DV particularly against a female partner. We're still thought of in many circles as "too big and strong to be abused" and there are persistent attitudes that I must have done something to deserve it.

The abuse I endured was mostly emotional/psychological but there were physical and even sexual components to the abuse. Being a man, it's been particularly difficult to talk about or find support. I found several support groups on FB early on, but it has been a struggle existing in those spaces.

I guess I'll start with my name and why I chose Unlikely Survivor. As mentioned in my bio I'm a male survivor of domestic violence. I was married for almost fifteen years, I've been semi-free for six, since I divorced and started gathering up the broken pieces of my life.

I've decided I'm going to make a series of introductory posts to let others know who I am and my history, since this is a new platform.

I just joined @bsky.app , hoping this is an answer to the absolute toxic shit show that Twitter is. Supportive, good faith people welcome, my boundaries don't allow for the entertainment of trolls or other toxic people. If you're here to be a jerk you can FOAD.