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urbpan.bsky.social
I love ALL of nature’s abominations
321 posts 435 followers 184 following
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Posts 39 Comments 11

I was voted most likely to spend my morning sweeping up dead and dying roaches

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

So far, I’ve been rejected for a credit card by my own credit union and by Costco. Makes a guy feel unwanted.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Wish I were one of Elon's kids so I'd never see him again

submitted 3 days ago • 145 comments

Sorry I only watch: cartoons where problems are solved with love, baking contests with lots of hugging, car crash compilations

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I was voted most likely to enter the room holding 4 dead mice

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Elon helps make air travel unsafe Elon frequently travels in a small plane Should I start practicing witchcraft again?

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

I don’t really drink but I’ll occasionally have three huge servings of craft beer with lunch

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I know it’s school vacation week but for the love of god don’t go anywhere with your kids today unless they have helmets and you have first aid certification

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Just wanted everyone know, today is much much worse

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I’d like to invite everyone who thinks winter is better than summer to come shovel my driveway.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Abominable #lowes

submitted 12 days ago • 2 comments

Trash bags should never be scented and live plants should never be dyed

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Seriously, creative folks: Don't be afraid to let people know your stuff is out there for them, or worry that "now is not the time for that." People are stressed and freaked out and looking for the things that will give them a moment of rest and joy. It is EXACTLY the time for what we do. Tell them.

submitted 14 days ago • 885 comments

Happy 21st anniversary to @cottonmanifesto.bsky.social and I. February is great time to go Vegas.

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Sorry @besecretandexult.bsky.social I’ll work on the insect talk: yesterday I found an indoor space breeding at least two types of so-small-you-can-inhale-them flies.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Classic Boston weather today: something is falling from the sky, sometimes it’s sharp, sometimes it’s wetter than water, and if it piles up god help you it has more mass than your shovel and will soon freeze into a satanic slip and slide. Could be windier.

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

“I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything” absolute icon

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Boston Lettuce is when two lesbian heads of lettuce live together

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

The grocery stores are deserted, fellow nerds! Go now!

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

“Is it just me or is trump letting Elon cuckold him?”

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

If you have any Maga in your life now is a good time to point out how weak Trump looks by letting Elon do whatever he wants to the US government

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

The daily adventures of Sadistic Traitor and Unelected Nazi are wacky and all, but I’d like to be bored by government again

submitted 23 days ago • 1 comment

Also, I consider full sugar soft drinks to be a worse vice than alcoholic beverages

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

How am I supposed to not drink every day when my job is impossible, the government is sliding into fascism, and I miss my father?

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Don't tell me that the billionaires running the country don't have my interests at heart. You don't know my interests. What if my interests are to eat shit and die

submitted 28 days ago • 197 comments

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

Sometimes a Nazi salute is just a Nazi salute. Given that a longtime Nazi did it, no need to overthink that. For fuck’s sake.

submitted 37 days ago • 43 comments

I’m glad the TikTok ban is exposing a new generation to the reality that American exceptionalism is a joke and that all governments suck, but I am looking for a source of hope, if you know one.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Welcome to my bitter attempts at humor, 30 people who are suddenly and mysteriously following me here

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

every time one of his rockets explode everybody acts like it's a good thing, like rockets are SUPPOSED to explode, but i don't think they (neck dart) don't think they think they're su sup supposed

submitted 41 days ago • 8 comments

If you want a Ginger ale where all the sweetness has been replaced with lime juice, this is it right here

submitted 48 days ago • 1 comment

@linazum.bsky.social another fun thing about depression is the need to talk to others about it while knowing that would be a very Bad Idea

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

I gather that seasonal depression is about light, but it’s also depressing for it to be too cold to go out and fucking enjoy myself

submitted 50 days ago • 1 comment

Pretty sure everyone I know who has school age or younger children is deathly ill, and will be for the next 4 years

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

Sure are a lot of folks at the liquor store planning to get drunk on a Wednesday, apparently

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

I wanted to take this time to tell everyone who said I should stay in boston because climate change will make it bearable to go jump in a fucking lake

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

You support ONE inquisition and ONE short little holocaust and suddenly Christianity has a bad reputation with some people

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

Facebook is a great place to when I want to say I hate snow and be told I’m wrong

submitted 68 days ago • 1 comment

I know it’s only 9 am but I’ve already done all the work I intended to do today

submitted 76 days ago • 0 comments