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veryimportant.lawyer
if you have any luck you'll get ahead before you're dead // http://veryimportant.lawyer // http://bigsleeprecords.bandcamp.com/album/tonal-rotors
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Posts 42 Comments 8

I just convened with the Dark Heirophant. I don’t fuckin like that guy

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

You expect Canadians to care about jaywalking?

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

The emo album cover photo capital of the world

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

It’s so sick here in Ireland or whatever this is

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

a lot of you

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

Lady riding a bike in a hat with a bike helmet perched on top of the hat and two more bike helmets hanging off of her handlebars…hello

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Contemplating a new guy I invented called “Australian Mike Jones.” I love Australian Mike Jones.

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

You make me feel You make me feel You make me feel like a

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

One hit smonk this wyd fam 🙈

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

I just invented an even younger Sheldon. And I’m going to jail for a long time

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Meet the inaugural inductee into the Damn That’s Crazy Hall of Fame

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

this website is on another level

submitted 2 days ago • 98 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

These Four Words Drive Chicagoans Wild

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

tee hee…don’t mind if I do

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

“Rural Juror” ass sign. “Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog Lobbing Law Bombs” type sign

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Love the “mom and dad I just threw up” photo of Herman Munster they licensed for this article

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

youtu.be/0wkLBX3xBlg?...

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

i think it’s good that we basically put an ifunny watermark on the constitution

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Reddit out here emailing me like they’re the DNC

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

“Pikmin” is short for Pokémon. I mean this literally and I love to be replied to. What I said is true and I will die for it

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

This would be an appropriate way to talk about T.I. in 2006

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

I’m taking - and hopefully winning - the Wet Hands Challenge. Wetter hands than you can believe

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

WERNER HERZOG: The park was closed. The moose out front should have told them.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

“You can post from anywhere in the world. Even from the bathroom. Believe In Anywhere.” - Steve Jobs

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

Thinking about a reverse Incredible Hulk situation where he gets mad and only his jean shorts tear away

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

Descendents warned us about this

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Learned how to air dash in Brisbane. Once I fast travel back to Chicago I should finally be able to reach the Toronto region of the map

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

if the oldest man in America says “the Trump administration is failing to increase efficiency whilst middle class Americans feel pain at the pump” I think the democrats can sew this one up easy style

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

They’re making “charging your phone” an Olympic sport in 2026. A lot of people are really upset. Charging your phone is a summer sport.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

(One month after I posted “more like Old Fartass” in a reply to the Yellowstone Park account and then mysteriously disappeared) Did you know the National Park Service has their own jail?

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Got some really bad news from The Toll Roads Notice of Toll Evasion. I think they’re going to report my late fees to the DMV.

submitted 5 days ago • 15 comments

OpenAI is incredible. “What if you said two words to a guy and they started to talk indefinitely.” That’s just interacting with a cokehead at a party

submitted 6 days ago • 33 comments

It would suck so bad if Kevin Hart died and they immediately had a new Kevin Hart set up and ready to go, Highlander style

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

Australia is cool because every animal here can scream like a human man.

submitted 6 days ago • 7 comments

My reward is not of this mortal realm, and shall never expire. Nice try Kura Revolving Sushi Bar

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

David Carr wrote a really good book about this www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Ni...

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

It’s incredible how many different ways this sucks. Mark Zuckerberg is like an olympic-level decathlete in sucking on different things

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

Doing my own research genius.com/Rap-genius-l...

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Chris Paul exploiting a glitch to speedrun the skills contest was easily the best part of nba all star weekend

submitted 6 days ago • 11 comments

Bro are you ok? Your wizened visage appears forlorn

submitted 6 days ago • 10 comments

Mr Beast face look like Kirk Van Houten’s drawing of dignity

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments