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waninggibbons.bsky.social
Kiwi, science guy, comedy writer, dandy, neurodivergent 18+
1,293 posts 662 followers 545 following
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Posts 28 Comments 22

I see you boys online making alcohol out of unusual foods. Can you ferment my despair?

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

You're telling me that public figure was a bigoted dirtbag? They were always very warm and gracious to me, a person who looks almost identical to them.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Like most millennials I can't wait until the nightclub scene from Blade becomes Public Domain.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Offering penis-rating services for cheap, the catch is that my scaling system constantly changes and I refuse to elaborate. Sign up if you want to find out if your dick is 'Merry Brandybuck' or higher.

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

I don't need to know James Cameron's vision for Wellington, I've seen the Avatar films. First colonisation. Then it ends up underwater. The eventually, it's on fire.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

When I say I'm laser focused I mean I wish I could kill you with my eyes.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

We have a big event in our town celebrating American cars and I can't imagine a worse time to have American flags flying everywhere.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Salvador Dali's getting a posthumous paternity test done? Not sure he could father a child given his reputation for having a floppy clock.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

We should all be united in our fight against climate change by our common hatred of mosquitos.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

February 14th was the actual day my wife and I began dating but we didn't make it official until the 15th because we thought it would be too cliche to have our anniversary on the Captain Cook's Death Day.

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

I'm begging food companies to stop using the word 'pucker'

submitted 13 days ago • 2 comments

Well actually, Hallensteins was the Doctor. I, the man in the Leisure Club hoodie, am the real monster.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Off you go kids, Mum and Dad are having their special juice.* *Monster Energy Drink.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

When you'd rather block than delete your misspelled abomination of an AI generated image of a taonga you're trying to pass off as your photography. This image should give everyone in this person's circle of friends shingles without the decency to start with chicken pox.

submitted 15 days ago • 7 comments

Truly impressive to be offensive on a cultural, geographical, orthographical, and ethical level all at the same time.

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

Drake just lost interest in the Chiefs

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

That Halftime Show was joyously Fuck You.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I don't want to be the angriest Kiwi at this BDSM club but I'm absolutely ropeable.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Still wild to me that these people who talk about 'biological reality' also think gender is stored in the genitals.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I got it mixed up and instead of ChatGPT I've been using Chaturbate. To be fair, the answers I've been getting from the camgirls have been excellent.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Me: Make all light bulbs hum at the same frequency as a mosquito. Monkey Paw: *Flips the bird*

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Just found out the river I swam in as a child is contaminated with human waste, which is why I'm now immune to your shit.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Trans-man: *Gives birth* Based Macbeth: *Starts sweating.*

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

When you order a copy of your birth certificate they should give you the option to have it burnt and stained so it looks like an old timey map.

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

ME: Jesus I let you into my heart. VAMPIRE JESUS: You fool.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

"Nice rack", I said to the reindeer with the great set of tits.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Yes I'm burning the candle at both ends but I'm also giving it a sick spin in my fingers like I'm a drummer.

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

Men don't want wallets or perfume for their birthday. They want 10-15 cubic metres of mulch dumped directly onto the driveway.

submitted 29 days ago • 2 comments