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write2sarah.bsky.social
Writer, editor, order Muppet, questioner. ENFP/INFJ fluid. Late-blooming lesbian. she/they
60 posts 43 followers 38 following
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Posts 34 Comments 14

Today, I used the word “pronto” in a sentence, unironically, to an adult.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

If you go to Italy with your bestie, she randomly will text you her photo of The David’s butt.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Anne Lamott: “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” Kendrick Lamar: “Say, Drake… “

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Remembering good times at your mom’s place

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Just learned Xennials (born ‘77-‘83) are also called The Carter Babies. Be cool if we could organize as a microgeneration and do something for peace.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Mushrooms should be legal in all states in which people have to watch The Nutcracker every year because some kid they know does ballet.

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

Your Wordle board today is the name of your femme folk-punk band that performs exclusively at midnight in the campus black box theater no one else uses anymore.

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

You ever tell someone to be a man and they rebel so hard you’re like whoa

submitted 178 days ago • 0 comments

Of all the peelable, single-serving cheese wheels, I probably consume Babybel the most.

submitted 198 days ago • 0 comments

What would YOU do hyped up on adrenaline and amphetamines moments after someone very nearly popped your balloon, cool guy? I might tell some motherfuckers to fight, too, in that situation. I don’t like Trump, either, but if you think THAT’S bad, you should see what else he’s done …

submitted 229 days ago • 0 comments

Narrator: Uh, here I go, here I go, here I go again. Girls, what’s my weakness? Girls: “Self worth!”

submitted 290 days ago • 0 comments

Oh hell yah. Ghostbusters is on at the gym. My luck is turning around.

submitted 356 days ago • 0 comments

Petition for a third dinosaur in the nugget bag.

submitted 369 days ago • 0 comments

Life is too short to read “The Grapes of Wrath.”

submitted 370 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve got two turntables and a microphone and a skateboard and a Batman comic and a purple buttplug.

submitted 380 days ago • 2 comments

My son is disappointed to learn that the day you tell your mother to suck your dick is the day that she stops making you peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

submitted 408 days ago • 1 comment

This ADHD med shortage is some “Flowers for Algernon” bullshit

submitted 420 days ago • 0 comments

My Roman Empire: how Impractical Jokers’ Casey Jost looks like he is one bland segment away from leaving it all behind for a life in the wilderness.

submitted 421 days ago • 0 comments

Can we run this up the flagpole?

submitted 435 days ago • 0 comments

public school spent too much time teaching us how to spell Mississippi and not enough time teaching us how to spell Mmassachussettss

submitted 436 days ago • 0 comments

The existential urge to know which guy from your graduating class will become a dad at 80

submitted 437 days ago • 0 comments

My dying wish? All my wishes died years ago.

submitted 441 days ago • 0 comments

stuck in a zoom in my office, suspicious of the neighbor squirrels

submitted 444 days ago • 6 comments

Face down, ass up, is how your email will find me.

submitted 444 days ago • 1 comment

I’m whatever it’s called when you’re a Fanilow but for Taylor Swift.

submitted 445 days ago • 0 comments

Is it pronounced “biopic” or “biopic?”

submitted 454 days ago • 1 comment

Keep your peanut butter to yourself. I am here to pump up the jam.

submitted 460 days ago • 0 comments

Absolutely fuck Rainbow Road.

submitted 460 days ago • 0 comments

This Bloody Mary tastes like you’re about to get laid at 2:00 in the afternoon

submitted 461 days ago • 1 comment

The haters can’t stand seeing you listening to Now That’s What I Call Music! 7.

submitted 461 days ago • 1 comment

You can be hilarious, but if you never repost anyone I assume something is terribly wrong with your personality

submitted 462 days ago • 18 comments

submitted 461 days ago • 0 comments

okay, but it’s just a bunch of jazz squares and a really bad problem everyone saw coming

submitted 462 days ago • 0 comments

History will remember the side you took in the 2007 bet between Kanye West and 50 Cent.

submitted 462 days ago • 0 comments