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writingdcm.bsky.social
“The world is your oyster... too bad you're allergic to shellfish.” —Paul Neilan Husband, SAHD, independent, gamer, reader, blogger, Bluey fan My biosphere of thoughts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:636ads6a5bsrew5gikxwowue/feed/aaam2wgae6lry
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Posts 26 Comments 24

Do they do a vote for which state gets to hold the chainsaw massacre next or how does that work?

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

[the last supper] JESUS: eat up boys it’s all brunches from here on out

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

[jackrabbit hops up] Jesus: sorry jack [volcano rabbit hops up] Jesus: awesome, but no [hedgehog dressed up as a bunny walks up] Jesus: nice try buddy [cottontail bunny hops up] Jesus: that’ll do Big Chocolate: we’ll get started right away

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

Hey baby are you a broken record because you are constantly improving

submitted 7 hours ago • 1 comment

As soon as I finish recycling all my old tweets it’s over for me, bitches

submitted 8 hours ago • 2 comments

Forgive yourself. Then eat three bananas. Regret is useless. Potassium isn't.

submitted 10 hours ago • 5 comments

“Whatever you do, don’t panic” is the absolute best way to induce instant panic.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

What a lovely flood of chaos you are.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

what would you do without me? you would cry sad bitter tears of misery and self pity. you would wail and gnash teeth and rend garments you would also be able to finish a cup of coffee

submitted 21 hours ago • 1 comment

My most liked skeet is also my most misunderstood

submitted 8 hours ago • 14 comments

Jesus: (hoarse whisper) hide the eggs Rabbit: (crying) I will

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

two cats inside me, but they’re both napping

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

Please, dad joke was my father's name. Call me reply guy.

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

It’s morning everyone! Today’s the day, skeets are posting, and I am finally gonna stop skeeting—the skeets are posting? THE SKEETS ARE POSTING?!?

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

if the jesus sees his shadow on sunday, there will be three more months of crucifixion

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

i think it was descartes who famously said, “to be human is to select all the pics with crosswalks in them.”

submitted 13 days ago • 19 comments

I don’t flirt, I just say stupid shit until someone gets a boner about it

submitted 1 day ago • 14 comments

doomscroll would make a lovely name for a baby girl

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

shitposts are just prank calls made to the entire internet

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Cheeses > Jesus

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

i need to heal from people.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

one of my greatest fears is being stuck with a small group of people trying to survive a situation.

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

I'm all excited because I think this post is going to be a banger= 3 likes. I'm not making any sense, and I think I should probably not post, but I do it anyway = 100 likes.

submitted 23 hours ago • 3 comments

Sometimes no matter where you are, you're somewhere else.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

could really do with some stale horrors rn

submitted 22 hours ago • 3 comments

At what age can children pack for vacation by themselves? Because my mother-in-law's son is 46 and I still need to remind him to bring deodorant.

submitted 20 hours ago • 17 comments