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wurp.bsky.social
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February 2018 I suddenly developed Parkinson's symptoms on my right side. Over the following weeks I had to teach myself to do everything left-handed, usually by mirroring the activity with both hands at the same time.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

*checking the next event on my calendar

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Hard-hitting news

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

For the longest time I thought my toilet had a special self-cleaning coating or something because it was always clean no matter how much of a mess was made prior. In retrospect I am very glad I never mentioned this theory in front of my wife.

submitted 48 days ago • 1 comment

So it's Icecats hockey throwback night and the jumbotron showed a guy sitting alone wearing a pair of blue paw gloves. The people behind us started talking about how he probably got them from a Monster's Inc Sully costume. Had to resist the urge to tell them "IT'S FROM A FURSUIT HE HAS FOR SEX"

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

sir, this is an Arby’s

submitted 67 days ago • 903 comments

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

From now on my family will only be eating the finest foodservice-grade potato chips.

submitted 82 days ago • 2 comments

Most unfortunate name I have personally encountered

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

Since gremlins reproduce via asexual parthenogenesis does that make them all female?

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

*watching gremlin get blown up in a microwave: "Yay, this is great!" *Hero and heroine kiss at the end: "Eww gross!"

submitted 85 days ago • 1 comment

Honestly, I've seen bigger.

submitted 85 days ago • 1 comment

I just realized our tote of inherited grandma dishes wrapped in covid-era newspapers really tells a story on its own.

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

Sending all of my non-American friends one of these for Christmas

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

20 year-old me in 2001: LMAO that guy's spoon is too big and his friend is a banana. My 9yo daughter in 2024: This is infantile and makes no sense, father.

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

GM who else is having a healthy breakfast of leftover thanksgiving pies?

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Dammit I just realized Trump ruined the 1 Grover Cleveland fact I know.

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

This is obvious election interference.

submitted 128 days ago • 0 comments

My wife works in a 2nd grade classroom and apparently Halloween is like D-Day for elementary school teachers.

submitted 129 days ago • 0 comments

IT BEGINS

submitted 132 days ago • 0 comments

I have located The Perfect Truck

submitted 188 days ago • 0 comments

Really interested in knowing the logistics of how this happened:

submitted 205 days ago • 1 comment

Just came out of awake DBS surgery. Getting my head shaved at the start: *faints* Hour later on 2nd dose of fentanyl: "So that's what a wire getting pushed through my brain sounds like."

submitted 227 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 236 days ago • 1 comment

Thank you, the smiley face makes it less scary.

submitted 241 days ago • 0 comments

After doing some research I am very sorry to announce that the Icelandic Tooth Fairy is NOT some kind of fucked up goblin that leaves soup in your kid's boot but is, in fact, an extremely standard tooth fairy. Very disappointed in you, Iceland.

submitted 247 days ago • 1 comment

I'm gonna come right out and say that Father's Day isn't a real holiday like Christmas or Administrative Professional's Day

submitted 266 days ago • 0 comments

Family has come to visit and like every year they will arrive with luggage stuffed with Icelandic candy and depart with edibles and Cheez Whiz.

submitted 281 days ago • 2 comments

Me in bed, edibles kicking in: "Do adults have outie belly buttons or is that a thing that goes away as you get older?" My wife:

submitted 295 days ago • 0 comments

Excellent ad placement.

submitted 301 days ago • 0 comments

Here we go

submitted 303 days ago • 0 comments

I have a friend who works in purchasing at a crime lab and some of our chats seem unreal.

submitted 309 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 327 days ago • 6 comments

It was only later that I realized Googling "Are there security cameras anywhere around Kissinger's grave" definitely got me put on a list.

submitted 353 days ago • 0 comments

A sign I spotted at a local casino.

submitted 357 days ago • 0 comments