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yellow-pages.bsky.social
doing the lords work (being annoying and off-putting online) she/her
78 posts 17 followers 72 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 45 Comments 5

give your clocks a lil kiss tonight, they work so hard holding together time and space, etc., etc.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

They should make a nighttime setting on microwaves so it’s not the loudest thing in the world when u wanna heat up some bagel bites at 3am

submitted 23 hours ago • 0 comments

We’re sexting and I bring out the 🤪 emoji

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Winds so strong I'll probably be killed by a Little Free Library.

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

A massage isn't enough I need to be rolled out like dough.

submitted 4 days ago • 26 comments

If you don't have anything nice to say, join the club. We meet Wednesdays at 4:00 pm sharp for a weekly gripe.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

girl I'm texting: yeah I'm aromantic me (misreading): damn bitch you stink good?

submitted 5 days ago • 4 comments

I’ve annoyed every boy in my phone. I think the tipping point was sending over the videos of two guys going to every rainforest cafe in the US

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Got this sweatshirt today before they marked it up to $10

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

a restraining order that *requires* you to give me a big hug and not let go.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Every interaction I get on this app has like 5x the dopamine release as any other social media outlet I’ve ever been on

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Oh clementine

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Literally lost my mind and was admitted due to over working myself and not taking care of my human needs for a prolonged period of time. Spent the last year getting back to normal. Set your boundaries. Take care of yourself first.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

everyone shut up: BIG BOAT STUCK

submitted 4 days ago • 9 comments

She was rare. Like a railroad car with no graffiti.

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

[reading my will] lawyer: he left you this pair of shoes my son: this what lawyer: he instructed me to say you are his “sole heir” I am so sorry

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

Why the FUCK do the signs not just say “no parking” my stupid self rlly thought they didn’t want ppl standing there

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Ppl these days don’t skip to the loo like they used to

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Never heard of a substance abuse problem, very familiar, however, with substance abuse solutions

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

As long as we’re playing fast and loose with reality, I’ve actually been boycotting sex.

submitted 4 days ago • 6 comments

babe I really wish you’d set your boundaries somewhere else. It’s cluttering up the kitchen.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

We went from "Girls just want to have fun" to "Girls just want to stab someone."

submitted 4 days ago • 41 comments

Every day I set myself aside a budget of $30 and it works great until I encounter something that is more than $30

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

if you want to be the next pope you need to go on hot ones first

submitted 4 days ago • 14 comments

I grew up in a house where communications of anger were heavy sighs and loudly closing drawers and it’s made living with normal people who do these things rlly fun “I just heard you exhale really loud in the other room, are you mad at me?”

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

The beer that scares you

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

kissing you softly and tenderly so you don’t notice i’m filling your pockets with rocks

submitted 13 days ago • 18 comments

I shared weed with my bby roommate (she is 26) because I am a natural born mother figure and I love nurturing

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

I don’t know if I’ll ever see Adam Driver the same way after seeing him in girls. Specifically season 2 episode 9. Too close to home

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

It’s the pining for me

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Ibuprofen, but for the soul.

submitted 4 days ago • 10 comments

Please please please don’t do improv - the prayer I do before any date

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Physically I am here, but mentally and spiritually, I am in a Rainforest Cafe…a storm is about to start…the animals are stirring….i have a bowl of the anaconda pasta in front of me…it’s gonna be ok

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I had a dream that a guy greeted me by licking my eyeball like a frog

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Crouching Trauma, Hidden Sadness.

submitted 4 days ago • 10 comments

its a doggy style world out there

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

I’ve seen very few movies and it drives the men crazy

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Michael Cera’s full name is Michael K Cera Cera What Will B Will B

submitted 10 days ago • 9 comments

Hey thanks so much for having sex with me. If you wouldn’t mind filling out this survey, it really helps us, as we are always holding space for improvement.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

ZZ Bottom

submitted 5 days ago • 12 comments

Savasa-oh na na, what’s my name

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I bought a Dali print today for fifteen pence. OK. I bought a Chupa Chups lollipop, but Dali did design the wrapper.

submitted 11 days ago • 3 comments

I love it here

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

There is nothing hotter than a good dad

submitted 5 days ago • 10 comments

Oh yes yes, I can tell your goofball chakra is blocked…let’s take a deep breath, and on the exhale, go “ha-ha, he-he, la la la”

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments