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zachcabbages.bsky.social
15 posts 10 followers 35 following
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Boss during team meeting: "Look guys I really need you to hit our mark for this quarter." Mark: "Please don't"

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

Me chalking my cue stick for the 4th time after my 4th bad pool shot in a row: "Guess I didn't chalk it enough."

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

What if your house had a key fob like your car and when you pressed the lock button all the lights in the house flashed on and off

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

Absolutely bonkers how many companies have a guy working there named donotreply

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Me, seeing a text as soon as it comes in: Better wait a few minutes to respond so they don't think I'm some sort of freak who really likes to talk to them.

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

A woman with snakes for hair never fails to get me rock hard

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

Just brought some shrimp home, it'll be nice to have someone here to fry my rice for me

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

Friend: hey, what are you up to? Me: counting my chickens Friend: but I don't see any chickens Me: oh, they haven't hatched yet. Friend: *eyes narrow*

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

*first day working coat check* Man comes up and shows me his coat. Me: "Yup, that's a coat" Boss: "Hey, I don't think this is going to work out."

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

Paramedics arrive at the scene of a brutal car crash, a buttercup lies mangled on the ground Paramedic 1: poor thing flew straight through the front windshield. Paramedic 2: *deep sigh* should've buckled up.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments