Making a ttrpg character and thinking of giving them a homunculus lackey named Cumwad who’s just a macro sperm with little arms and legs, a chompy mouth, and the personality of GIR.
Comments
Log in with your Bluesky account to leave a comment
“Are you kidding? Do you know how much /trouble/ he would get into with one? Anyway, the process that turned him from one of my sperm into a homunculus renders him infertile.
Comments
“Cumwad, that’s a man you’re trying to nurse from.”
“I luv yoo beeg booby man!”
https://tundalus.itch.io/trespasser
Cumwad, walking into the room looking distinctly cubic: “I’m so full of knowledge it hurts…”
“Cumwad! You vomit up those tomes right this instant.”
“Huuuuaaagh! Huuuuurgh! Uuuahhghgh!”
“Okay, who fed Cumwad?!”
“He said he was hungry…”
“He’s powered by ambient magic and doesn’t have a butthole. He just eats because he’s bored.”
“Cumwad, what have I said about food.”
“Buh i’ fulla see-rup!”
“No, no cockwaffle. Where did you even get that?”
“From a vendin’ machine!”
“What the deuce is a vending machine.”
Cumwad: Points to a vending machine in the middle of a medieval high-fantasy setting.
“Can’t you give Cumwad a cock?”
“Are you kidding? Do you know how much /trouble/ he would get into with one? Anyway, the process that turned him from one of my sperm into a homunculus renders him infertile.
Cumwad putting 2 and 2 together for the first time in his little life: “YOO my daddy?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Yoo my daddy! Where my child support?!”
“Nooooo not the bottle! Don’t put me back in the bottle!!!”