I think I need a slightly divergent path to the right where I try to explain everything and give context and clarity, but get cut off mid sentence because no one has the patience or interest to listen to my thought's origin story.
Usually the 2nd option with me...try to explain clearly but just end up with an overly detailed mess of words because I've overthought it all and just rambled on about it trying to cover all the relevant stuff. Which then might give the impression i'm angry/annoyed about whatever it is, even if not.
OR they pull the "oh yeah, i'm not reading all of that"
like...I will take that as oh You dont actualy listen either do you? and yes this is the fastest way to be someone I avoid.
if several adhd freinds of mine took the time to read homestuck a paragraph of uninterupted thought WILL NOT KILL YOU!
The times I can give leeway/forgiveness on people getting LOST and g8vin up is when I start sounding like Bitsy. There ARE times I'm rambling like this one here:
The commonality between these two outcomes is that the other person has taken you in poor faith. I've wondered for a while, are all autistic people really that bad at communicating? We are direct, aren't we? What if other people are just bad faithing us??
That's the thing: sometimes people don't apply empathy strongly enough. Like, are they in a bad mood, or are they really that uninterested? And are they capable of improving their capabilities and experiences?
Conversely, no one has infinite patience. If you can afford it, don't push it too hard.
*gets very emotionally upset*
"your feelings are messy and awful"
*spends a lot of effort in trying to become more considerate and clear and mediate my emotions*
"you sound fake"
alternate branch path most dont consider: the non-autistic person being spoken to has already decided they dont like you and will think anything you say is wrong/weird. its the "bully gene" effect.
What sort of magic juice am I missing, other folks say "'sup" and they are friends. I hang out with folks for years and as soon as that's harder they vanish.
You forgot option 3, say nothing because you spent too long trying to think of what the optimal thing to say is and now the moment is passed, and now people think you don't care or weren't paying attention
just fyi filling the alt text is kind of useless if it doesn't actually describe the image. if it's an image of text, please write it out in the alt text
One annoying thing that keeps happening is I’ll explain something long winded to avoid misunderstanding but sometimes I actually really enjoy going into all the context but even then some people will try to calm me down or otherwise think I’m panicking or smth but no I just want to/love to be clear
One of the big differences is everyone else just thinks they explained it well, and still ended up in the misunderstanding shoot.
My “power move” at work is making the conversation stop and checking everyone understood what was just said by someone … and every time, about half didn’t.
People getting wigged out or thinking you’re trying to manipulate them somehow because you expressed yourself clearly and straightforwardly and they think there’s a layer of unspoken implication and nuance there that simply isn’t.
I'm just trying to emulate the "make plans by discussing stuff" that NTs do, but I guess it doesn't work. Love the "but we totally invited you" and I didn't get it.
Comments
like...I will take that as oh You dont actualy listen either do you? and yes this is the fastest way to be someone I avoid.
if several adhd freinds of mine took the time to read homestuck a paragraph of uninterupted thought WILL NOT KILL YOU!
ME: AAAAH NOOOO
Conversely, no one has infinite patience. If you can afford it, don't push it too hard.
"your feelings are messy and awful"
*spends a lot of effort in trying to become more considerate and clear and mediate my emotions*
"you sound fake"
What sort of magic juice am I missing, other folks say "'sup" and they are friends. I hang out with folks for years and as soon as that's harder they vanish.
Feels like floating in limbo, this autistic life.
and "idk though im not a narc" really helps diffuse some situations too
>well written, thought out, fully explained trail of thoughts and feelings
"Why are you being defensive? What are you hiding?"
Person: Replies "Thanks for the update" with no answer to any of my questions.
Me: :) :) :) :)
ADHD is a curse when either of these happen.
S-sorry, I'm working on it >~<
My “power move” at work is making the conversation stop and checking everyone understood what was just said by someone … and every time, about half didn’t.
Even explaining yourself at length doesn't help
Also my mom: yells at me when I ask directly for help without the faffery.