I have a dear friend going through a relapse cycle with alcohol, and it’s made me want to write down some of the tricks I’ve learned for combating shame and the critical inner voice that perpetuates addiction cycles. I’m not a practitioner and your mileage may vary, but here’s what I’ve learned: 🧵 - ThreadSky

adgwatches.bsky.social • 11 days ago

I have a dear friend going through a relapse cycle with alcohol, and it’s made me want to write down some of the tricks I’ve learned for combating shame and the critical inner voice that perpetuates addiction cycles. I’m not a practitioner and your mileage may vary, but here’s what I’ve learned: 🧵

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drobertsimg.bsky.social•11 days ago

📌

rowinpoe.bsky.social•11 days ago

The shame/guilt are part of the self-abusive cycle, as is the addiction.

Most relapse triggers are from unresolved trauma, and emotionally reactive, learned behaviors. They can be unlearned.

We are all capable. Even children, if we provided #EducationReform focusing on consent and power dynamics.

tranniehathaway.bsky.social•11 days ago

📌

adgwatches.bsky.social•11 days ago

1. Feel the shame. I don’t mean believe the voice in your head who is telling you to feel shame — that voice is an asshole and we’ll get to it in a minute. The idea is to learn to FEEL the shame, i.e. to recognize how it feels in your body. Is it nausea? Raised heart rate? Panic? Depression? 1/x

canuparadigm.bsky.social•11 days ago

Give the shame a goddamn hug, let it in, get to really take a fearless grand tour of the shame. You can see it falling to shreds if you are thorough about it. Some jerks can't feel this, like our sociopathic president. Don't be like that. Feel all the feelings with pride that you have them.

adgwatches.bsky.social•11 days ago

1.a Recognizing the feeling in your body is crucial for building a growing tolerance for feelings of shame, which is the first step to slowly being able to limit its impact on your daily life and eventually live in a way that is not dominated by responding in the moment to feeling shame.

adgwatches.bsky.social•11 days ago

1.b Acting in the moment while feeling shameful can look like angry outbursts, sullen withdrawal from relationships, lack of motivation to succeed, and many many addictive/dissociative behaviors. So it’s important to start recognizing when it comes up so you can make other decisions about behavior.

canuparadigm.bsky.social•11 days ago

🏆🏆🏆🏆

adgwatches.bsky.social•11 days ago

2. Talk to yourself aloud or journal about why you feel ashamed. Is it something you regret saying or doing? Is it something you’re worried other people will perceive about you that you don’t want them to think? It’s important to identify the narrative is in your head that makes your body feel shame

adgwatches.bsky.social•11 days ago

3. I then like to imagine someone I genuinely love and care about saying the same thing and feeling ashamed. What would I say if my best friend said those same words to me? My little sister? Do the crimes sound so terrible coming from them? Do those actions really rise to the level of shame?

canuparadigm.bsky.social•11 days ago

This helped me escape a bad narcissist. I would calmly suggest that we get another opinion about what I was being guilt-tripped about, and he would flee from me in terror at the notion of being revealed when doing his narc bullshit with me.

adgwatches.bsky.social•11 days ago

3.a How would I feel sitting on the sofa next to that person I love, crying and feeling shameful about themselves? What would I say or do to help them see that it’s not so bad, that they are only human, that they can be forgiven, that they’re still a good person deserving love?

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