‘You’re The Bonnie To My Clyde,’ Says Biden Running Off With Pardoned Turkey theonion.com/youre-the-bo... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 189 days ago

‘You’re The Bonnie To My Clyde,’ Says Biden Running Off With Pardoned Turkey
https://theonion.com/youre-the-bonnie-to-my-clyde-says-biden-running-off-with-pardoned-turkey/

Comments

ladykatherineann.bsky.social•188 days ago

AI provides the perfect pictures for your headlines. It's nice to see it has a good place.

kalebnelson.com•189 days ago

Sometimes I wonder how they come up with this stuff. Can we get an inside scoop on certain articles? Like what strain you were smoking and how high %.

ziggystardust3200.bsky.social•189 days ago

I just wanna be in that writer's room while they pitch ideas.

patrik-tanner.bsky.social•189 days ago

We need Diamond Joe back. 🥲

sharpesword.bsky.social•189 days ago

I bet a lot of turkeys will be pardoned after Trump takes office.

schwering.bsky.social•189 days ago

Cornpop is in hot pursuit!

glathgrundel.bsky.social•188 days ago

Turkey: gobble, gobble.
Biden: let's just keep going ...

markm52.bsky.social•189 days ago

He’s nuts if he doesn’t pardon Hunter. I don’t care what he said before, just like Trump.

expret.org•188 days ago

Thought the same. Hunter must be p!ssed off. And like @maryltrump.bsky.social said that Biden should pardon Hunter and the democrats have to stop playing by the rules now. Who is Biden impressing with not pardoning Hunter! Too worried for backlash from the right media! Fnck them & pardon ur son FFS!

originalcmh.bsky.social•189 days ago

Acceptable use of AI

spectrametric.bsky.social•188 days ago

God bless Joe Biden! He did a lot more than just participate in this asinine tradition.

uberwoke.bsky.social•189 days ago

Biden can't drive

argomon.bsky.social•189 days ago

stevetristano.bsky.social•189 days ago

🤣

thenaturalpolymath.bsky.social•189 days ago

Both have wattles

noeticbanana.bsky.social•189 days ago

Wattle: n.
A fleshy, wrinkled, often brightly colored fold of skin usually hanging from the neck or throat, characteristic of certain birds, reptiles, and mammals.

realjdvancescouch.bsky.social•189 days ago

antic.bsky.social•189 days ago

You’re the Thelma to my Louise, he says, as they ship Cold War nukes back to Ukraine to ensure the continuation of military spending.

bezor-piss-wizard.bsky.social•189 days ago

He's not gonna fuck it, is he?

chewingtheuniverse.bsky.social•188 days ago

It ain't gonna fuck itself.

hishuithesnake.bsky.social•189 days ago

I thought Ted Cruz was the one who bangs turkeys.

katypho.bsky.social•189 days ago

Not me saving this to create problems during Thanksgiving. I would never 👀

mikeythei.bsky.social•189 days ago

Thelma to his Louise, even

thereallenin.bsky.social•189 days ago

That’s not safe, if he looks away from the turkey he’ll forget it’s there, then get terrified later when he tries to figure out how a turkey got in his car, and crashes

evelyn.woke.cat•188 days ago

incredibly clever wow

thereallenin.bsky.social•188 days ago

It’s not meant to be clever, it’s low hanging fruit to mock a monster

edcote.bsky.social•188 days ago

Please tell me you're hiring and I don't need a degree.

ristinraccoon.bsky.social•189 days ago

Biden will have an awesome life after being Potus. Just like Obama, and Clinton.

Odd man out is Trump really...he finished being POTUS and has just had a rage-fest stress-mess of a life since. And he's not even POTUS again, and you know he'll be the same unhappy tantrum-yam afterwards.

Sad.

chewingtheuniverse.bsky.social•188 days ago

"afterwards"

Does anyone even seriously see him making it to 2028? His health is a dumpster fire.

ristinraccoon.bsky.social•188 days ago

Oh no, not a chance.
But Trump's health isn't the problem. I'm pretty sure it's Trump's VP Vance who kept sending right-wing assassins after Trump before the election. He has the most to gain and the clearest motive (would you want to be second-fiddle to Trump?)
Short wait after the inaugeration...

chewingtheuniverse.bsky.social•188 days ago

Imagine if it was Melania hoping she wouldn't have to go back to the damn White House and do Christmas stuff again 💀

ristinraccoon.bsky.social•188 days ago

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense too. ^_^

yendor888.bsky.social•137 days ago

Where has this man been hiding?

ristinraccoon.bsky.social•137 days ago

Like the rest of us, hiding in plain sight watching President Musk and VP Trump duke it out (like spoilt children) fighting for the spotlight.

binx01.bsky.social•189 days ago

Honestly wouldn't blame him

wokeineurope.bsky.social•189 days ago

Does that mean the Thanksgiving #memes can start?

tadgo.bsky.social•189 days ago

Still won’t be the craziest thing a US President does in the next 6 months.

youngpilots.bsky.social•188 days ago

why is this so believable

terryturner.bsky.social•189 days ago

Sounds like a sitcom, "Bonnie and Biden!"😁

pokypinkdog.bsky.social•189 days ago

🤣🦃

skamike.bsky.social•189 days ago

This is a whole bobs burgers episode

konanmetalscholar.bsky.social•189 days ago

Now that's a movie

karmistry.bsky.social•189 days ago

Pretty accurate, unfortunately...

saragoss444.bsky.social•189 days ago

Happy, happy, happy!!!!

libertyuk1.bsky.social•189 days ago

thank you the onion🙏🙏

bostonandrew.bsky.social•189 days ago

Damn straight jack

maplegnome.bsky.social•189 days ago

Sure looks like Thelma and Louise.

justinalcon.bsky.social•189 days ago

💯

jackpriceharbach.co.uk•189 days ago

Pitch for next headline: “Biden pardons Chicken by mistake.”

silvered.bsky.social•189 days ago

It's crazy that not only do you have a tradition that is almost solely just eating a bird... But that you obviously for fun "pardon" one of those birds.

What collective crime did turkeys do in America? America never learnt that collective punishment is a war crime.

chewingtheuniverse.bsky.social•188 days ago

They gave Constantinople the w–wait, no, that was the Turks.

chewingtheuniverse.bsky.social•188 days ago

Gobble gobble, Jack.

paranoidfactoid2.bsky.social•189 days ago

Yeah, but who ate whom?

risingphoenix0.bsky.social•188 days ago

Yeah... That looks about right

luvnabroknclock.bsky.social•189 days ago

Not the warm hued turkey he should drive into a canyon with.

alternageek.bsky.social•189 days ago

😂😂😂😂

bitpaul53.bsky.social•189 days ago

The next turkey will enter the White House on January 20.

venus-demilo.bsky.social•189 days ago

The turkey pardoning tradition is my favorite and probably the only wholesome tradition still in our leadership system

g1d.bsky.social•189 days ago

As long as they don't become Thelma & Louise.

d4ve.bsky.social•189 days ago

gimme the pardoned turkey

thebarefootsage.bsky.social•188 days ago

"You're the Thelma to My Louise" would have been better.

sarcastyk67.bsky.social•189 days ago

I wouldn’t be surprised if he pardons Hunter instead of the turkey.

torvar.bsky.social•189 days ago

Biden has not been unable to drive for over two years now. Maybe he should have retired or something? So a guy who can not legally drive can legally have access to the big red button. What's next? A convicted criminal?

clwho.bsky.social•189 days ago

They ride off at ten miles an hour, Biden still hits a poll, then he stumbles around not knowing where he is. Later his kids finally decide to put him in an old folks home because they can't take care of him anymore.

wickedlywhen.bsky.social•189 days ago

You rejected "Thelma to my Louise"??🙄

tom1970.bsky.social•189 days ago

Screw him Too.

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