Man. Same. It's been a long, shitty ride but unfortunately the only thing there is to do is wrestle the wheel from the driver and kick them out of the car. Forward only.
It a rough feeling and it unfortunately doesn't treat you any kinder as life goes on. Something I had to learn to deal with as I spent the last five years of my life in a bed due to a lung condition. Best I could do is figure out what I truly care about and keep it close during the worst of times.
I used to think like you (and still do way too often, tbh). But the concept of a "wasted life" isn't helpful or even correct. You are where you are in your personal journey and that's okay. Working on self-acceptance is fucking hard but worth it.
Yup. Gotta kill the idea of who you think you're "supposed" to be (that you've been handed by society) and accept who you are. Like you said, that isn't easy, but it's worth it!
I get stuck in that loop a lot. I try to give my past-self some grace, because he was dealing with some crazy shit (life & mental health-wise), and didn’t have the knowledge or tools that I have now to get through it. I try to view “regret” in more of a “wow I’ve grown as a person” light instead ❤️
The time would have passed anyway. And in that time you developed your art skills, expanded your portfolio, attracted and built an ongoing community of viewers, ran countless collabs with other creators that impacted their content direction IN ADDITION to managing mental health and offline stuff 💖
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It might not have all hit yet, but it will dude