do u have any idea what it's like to go through an entirely preventable endogenous puberty as a repressed transsexual woman at the turn of the 21st century in the american southeast? bc if u did im not sure youd have time for this nonsense
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i didn’t know that being trans was an option and so when my body started changing and i was horrified about it, my brain transposed the dysphoria onto my weight gain and i got an eating disorder about it.
it rules feeling disgusted with ur 140 pound body going bald from malnutrition and feeling like everything is wrong, totally lifeless behind your eyes and being told “omg you look amazing you lost so much weight you look fantastic!!”
oh shit, i wonder if that happened to me. i started antidepressants around the time puberty would've kicked in and doubled my weight within a year, and i *hated* my body from then on. i assumed it was the weight but i'm realizing that i haven't lost any since hrt yet i like how i look now.
i spent the entirety of my adolescence in a fucking daydream bc as far as i was concerned there was no place for me in reality. it hurt to much to be in reality or to think about who id be as an adult so i simply never did
i tell people stories about my 20s and they go “wow you had a crazy life” like yeah dawg i was chasing oblivion anything to distract me from being in that fucking body
"i wish someone had sat me down and talked through my insecurities so i knew i didnt have to transition"
i wish i had known that transition was even possible and that the puberty that was making me miserable wasn't destiny. that if i had known i would have felt safe enough to ask for help
holy shit yeah. i talk sometimes about how i didn't even know transition was a thing outside of shitty webfiction growing up. it fucked me up really badly and i took years trying to process the new insecurities i ended up with during puberty because of that
still not done with that processing, of course. but holy fuck the idea that any other kid would have to have it worse than me - getting actively talked out of what they need - is so offensive
we should be trying to do better. not take answers away. it's back to that cis forward mindset of "if even one cis person transitions accidentally that's worse than a thousand trans kids getting the care they need" and it's sickening
for the original question, 31, and that puts me in the same situation as a result of the UK's 'don't say gay' type legislation that denied me knowledge of transition even being an option. i wish i had that knowledge. but... maybe if i did, my inability to act on it would have drove me crazy.
its a topic i sometimes get stuck on. i try not to think about it too much. its an endless well of unpacking just how much violence was contained in the denial of knowledge. of the scars that systemic epistemicide have left on my very fucking soul.
Detransitioners whining about lack of gatekeeping is reflective of amazing privilege and the vital necessity for informed consent models and even the flawed European model for formal gender-affirming care. For every one of their stories, there are countless untold of trans people who never made it
I fucking thought you just had to be lucky and already look like that, if anyone had just explained to me how transition worked and what was possible...
the first time i knew that transitioning was a thing was seeing a friend transition on social media. i just didn’t figure that people like bailey jay were trans really
I wish less people had coerced and forced me to sit down with them so they could pry into my insecurities and private life for an excuse for themselves to block my transition.
I wish less people had spotted signs I was trans as a child and in response masculinised me and validated my masculinity
I wish section 28 hadn't ever existed so the schools I grew up in could speak about trans people
I wish there wasn't a lasting transphobic effect after section 28's removal that led to the one openly trans person in my school life moving school within two weeks of coming out from bullying
I wish I had the mythical support and quick process into inexpensive medical transition that "detrans" people claim they got. Instead of arguing with GIC leadership and GPs for basic care and to be seen as trans enough for surgery even after 6+years of hrt and personally pioneering new hrt regimes
thinking back on the conversation i had with someone where i said that trans women who have been out for two years and only transitioned after we won informed consent tend to have a very warped view of what things were like before informed consent. how was i supposed to know she'd take it personally
I fight off the impulse to think about “what if I realized sooner” by acknowledging that full self-understanding as a teen in the mid-90s wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere.
My parents wouldn’t have helped, and even if they would, how would we know how to find supportive doctors?
38, grew up in southwestern Virginia and western North Carolina, finally came out as trans at 22, detransitioned a year later for 13 years because I wanted to survive, and then transitioned 13 years later because I wanted to live
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didn't puberty in the se, spent the last 23 years here
endogenous puberty in Louisiana though
not much difference
i wish i had known that transition was even possible and that the puberty that was making me miserable wasn't destiny. that if i had known i would have felt safe enough to ask for help
I wish less people had spotted signs I was trans as a child and in response masculinised me and validated my masculinity
I wish there wasn't a lasting transphobic effect after section 28's removal that led to the one openly trans person in my school life moving school within two weeks of coming out from bullying
didnt even know what a transgenders was either. became obvious extremely quickly. without that I'd be fucked tbh
Twenty years of self-denial caused me a lot of harm, but it saved me some that other people had to go through
My parents wouldn’t have helped, and even if they would, how would we know how to find supportive doctors?