I would listen to my mother tell my origin story with steadfast belief. I was the most expensive baby at the store. My dad said they couldn't afford me but mom had her heart set. My siblings would laugh and mom explained they were jealous Kmart babies she got on layaway and I was a JCPENNEY baby!
The zoo back then also didn't give any indication that they actually live on completely different continents. All big cats were kept in the same sad enclosures.
When I saw “make up by Max Factor”, I thought Max Factor had “made up” the story. To the puzzlement of my parents I always requested we see movies made up by Max Factor.
That Dracula lived in my family's attic. It turned out to be a little brown bat that was unceremoniously deplaned from this metaphysical realm by the blunt end of a Bissel sweeper.
My dad told me that if I left a plug socket switched on with no plug in it, the electricity would spill out and ruin the carpet. Believed that for a stupidly long time.
Had an older child tell me there was an invisible creature that ate children at night, if it thought you were alive. So for a while I would sleep very very still, sheet pulled over my face.
This is not me, but my little brother. The first time my parents bought cereal in those little boxes, he was shocked to see that the cereal was not also miniature.
That my daddy had written the Spider Ananse stories just for me: bit of a shock when I got to primary school & found out he hadn’t! But he was an amazing choreographer, drummer & tall-tale teller.
Everyone I grew up around was either Catholic or Jewish. One day my mother mentioned that she was not Catholic so I spent a whole school year telling people I was half Jewish.
The heart beat you hear when lying aginst your pillow was the footsteps of the person walking around who would murder me one day. Just out there somewhere
I was told by an older kid that if you step on a mushroom it will suction cup to your foot and pull you underground. Never to be seen again. Needless to say I never stepped on a mushroom again.
The toothpaste I swallowed regrew on my teeth as tartar. But! Great teachable moment about physical properties and chemical reactions including body systems, would've been neat to discuss what I learned with my mom when I found out why not.
My Aunt Phyllis lived in Florida and she visited every Christmas and July 4th. So, naturally, as a very young child, I thought Florida was in the sky because that is where her plane went....
"Dad Discontunuity"
This was pretty early on, like when i was one year old.
I thought i had two different dads — the one who left for work in the morning and the one that came home in the evening.
That people had an inherent Morality. That they would genuinely want to do good, instead of simply whatever they could get away with, whether or not it benefited them.
I believed that if you mix water with some crystals and salt, I could grow some mini monkeys, that can sit on my thumb. I tried it so often, but the monkeys would not grow out of my mix. I had lots of names for my monkeys. I was so dissapointed.
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Because they were *ROCK STARS*! Where else could they possibly live?
🤣😂🤣
Better to keep this arcane knowledge to myself, 10 years old me sagely thought back then.
The "theory" is amusing on its own, but becomes even funnier when you consider what "amazing basketball gear" means to an elementary school kid.
"Wow Hank Aaron had 755 home runs! And his brother Henry Aaron also had 755 home runs!
P.S.: I still hope so 😂
some people never grow up they just get older , they're still the same asshole as a kid !
I believed in the three equal branches of government: legislative, executive, and judicial
A job would be for life.
Ignore a bully and they'll leave you alone.
So ridiculous but legit terrified.
This was pretty early on, like when i was one year old.
I thought i had two different dads — the one who left for work in the morning and the one that came home in the evening.
kind of like some politicians