Transphobia is a luxury belief, and my theory is that much of the appeal for a certain set of cis women is that they get to be the oppressor like cis men oppress them. They don't need to overthrow the patriarchy because they've got their own little oppression starter kit.
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The "you can tell" is born from the acceptance of cis gender norms. And a recognition of variation.
They are empowered as the "body police" under patriarchy law.
We do what the men do, but we are not men so it's not bad.
Equality is, let us do the bad things too.
Sighs.....