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abomination.computer
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beaming with pride watching my dog go ham on his meal

SOURCE: i clogged the torlet

it must be summer because the supreme court just slithered out of whatever rathole they live in to make life worse

i can tell some drivers wouldn’t react at all if a gigantic steel beam tore through their windshield and cabin

nooo america. stop. she only want you for your Massive Penetrator

spotted sandpiper #birds

(posting the lucky numbers from a fortune cookie) Seven. Fourteen. Sixteen. Thirty-three. Twenty-one. (average bluesky user) wow king, resist. i am wiring you $1000 for every t-shirt you have in your store

after all these years it’s been coming soon..

boiling an orange for dinner

he died doing what he loved (getting struck by lightning)

*spitting a huge wad of dip into a spittoon* i ain’t never been scared to crap at work

phone listened to me noodling on the keyboard and owned my ass bad

@juniorhoncho.bsky.social new clipse

the dickriding is beyond crazy

early lunch hunger.. inauspicious..

the american dream is to have a house so big your mobility scooter runs out of battery before you get to the other side

after reading the new york times for as little as 3 days you may find your loins tingling for War

saw your man’s hometown

(lying) good night

🏵️ butterfly milkweed 🌿 Asclepias tuberosa #nativeplants #flowerreport #bloomscrolling #bloomsky

when u ask me who took the last slice of pizza

OSINT bf, AI gf

when i get hungry i’m liable to attack my own reflection like a bird

Who else was pissed when their dad never walked them to their college classes

my misery coach is berating me for having a pleasant interaction

son this is dad we found you butter bessie account please call us

commenting "this guys on steroids for sure" and then closing the tab forever on every single baseball article and forum post you see

pointing this at my house and running myself over when i leave work

i used to laugh when i read about MLB players going on the disabled list because they sneezed or something but i stretched my arm weird when i was scratching my back last night

(naming a bird that’s new to science) booby lol

Saw an MD plate: WOUNDS