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aikiwomannc.bsky.social
I'm not here to be the savior you long for only the one you don't. Part time cryptid Another ADHD fueled hyperfixation will be arriving shortly. Behold my skeets. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:r7wqaf3fczlnenogrqggrzyr/feed/aaajhzktmzatm
2,406 posts 8,884 followers 756 following
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Posts 49 Comments 1

I would listen to my inner voice more often if it didn't just go on and on before getting to the point.

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

We go together like unprotected eyes and a lab accident.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

I would listen to my inner voice more often if it didn't just go on and on before getting to the point.

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

Spinosaurus wants you to know that it will happily eat your enemies for you.

submitted 72 days ago • 4 comments

she was rare like a goth gymnast

submitted 21 hours ago • 9 comments

Sorry i yelled bicycle face when you grew that handlebar moustache

submitted 21 hours ago • 5 comments

An asthma inhaler that sounds like a kazoo every time you use it

submitted 22 hours ago • 6 comments

*slowly slides PBJ under seat*

submitted 23 hours ago • 276 comments

gosh dang it to heck! it’s the

submitted 21 hours ago • 101 comments

[first date] Me: So what do you do? Her: I’m a radiologist. Me: Cool! So tell me, does anyone even listen to the radio anymore?

submitted 109 days ago • 13 comments

[Parisian restaurant, breakfast] me: I hear that you do the best toasted cheese & ham sandwich in all Paris, here server: that’s a croque monsieur me: oh that’s a shame, I’ll just have a croissant instead then please

submitted 575 days ago • 5 comments

If you hold a conch shell up to your ear and listen really closely you’ll hear a hermit crab burrowing into your skull and then start to drive you like a crustacean Remy the Rat.

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

cop: you have the right to remain silent Marcel Marceau:

submitted 81 days ago • 4 comments

"I think it was Debussy who said that music is the space between the notes." "YOU KNOW AT MY AGE I HATE ALL METAPHORS."

submitted 19 hours ago • 2 comments

I have a lot of time on my hands but not enough to listen to a drum solo.

submitted 563 days ago • 5 comments

You don't have to tell me twice because I don't listen either time.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

This day in history. 1961. John F Kennedy and Nikita Khrushchev decided that Laos should be neutral. It's funny neither of those names look Laotian to me.

submitted 366 days ago • 2 comments

Welcome to your 50s. Now when they move stuff around at the supermarket, you ask to speak to the manager. Where TF is my chorizo, Debra?

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

A little late night head banging with Invent Animate Invent Animate: "False Meridian" youtu.be/xEFeRruBSRY?...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Choose 20 MONSTERS you have loved from childhood. One MONSTER per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, just MONSTERS. Day 2/20

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Once I get this cortisone cream on it's gonna be all over for you itches.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

When he wraps his arms around you from behind, pulls you close and growls in your ear, "I'd like to talk to you about your car warranty".

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Once I get this cortisone cream on it's gonna be all over for you itches.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Sometimes I put on a Hawaiian shirt, go to Trader Joe’s, and hope they accept me as one of their own.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

If you hold off on a home project long enough, your needs change and it won't be necessary anymore. Follow me for more procrastinating hacks.

submitted 2 days ago • 18 comments

for a bird, i’m not that interested in flying

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Super stoked about an irl meetup with a burrito I’ve been in a parasocial relationship with since 2018

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It's for the baby's first hot dogs.

submitted 3 days ago • 26 comments

Any food can be comfort food if you hug it hard enough

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I don't know what age is too young to be a pharmaceutical rep, but these kids are really selling me on some Xanax today...

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

Portly fellow walks into heaven… “Norm!”

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

1. Florida banned cities from lighting up bridges rainbow colors for Pride. So the people of Jacksonville did it themselves using flashlights and gels. They opened the drawbridge to block them. So they marched to a different bridge. The latest from S. Baum. Subscribe to support our journalism.

submitted 2 days ago • 238 comments

Choose 20 MONSTERS you have loved from childhood. One MONSTER per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, just MONSTERS. Day 1/20

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

letting go and embracing my cringe

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

the best thing about living in the south is telling people i’m from san francisco and those same people who have never even left their own state informing me all about the poop and drug needles that cover my hometown

submitted 1 day ago • 87 comments

Please enjoy this ridiculously cute butterfly, which was about the size of my pinkie fingernail. It's in the butterfly family called metalmarks (Riodinidae). Males, like these, have reduced front legs and perch using only the rear 4 (females can use all 6). Sarota acantus; Costa Rica 🐙🌿 #insects

submitted 1 day ago • 41 comments

Lab partner: How did you manage to set a glass beaker on fire? Me: It's not science if the fire truck doesn't show up. Lab partner: Your hair is smoking. Me: Thanks. Lab partner: Literally. Me: Science.

submitted 292 days ago • 3 comments

We go together like unprotected eyes and a lab accident.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Soup is great if you're feeling hungry but also way too lazy to chew

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

An employment orientated networking app for heavily tattooed professionals called Inkedin

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

i saw a dumpster on fire today and i thought of you

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

Why does Amazon only deliver last night's drunk purchases at 4:00 AM? I don't need these trashy nipple hooks until Friday.

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

welcome to sweaty boobs sunday it’s like sweaty boobs saturday only holier

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

my son’s friend was arguing with me about having an ai gf and said “what’s wrong with wanting someone who always makes you feel good?” and i said what’s right about wanting someone who you never have to make feel good?

submitted 2 days ago • 13 comments

i don’t want to see your nudes i want you to solve the riemann hypothesis

submitted 2 days ago • 15 comments

I’ve updated my resume by adding existential dread as a skill.

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

ME: someone brought their infant to work, ugh. That's unsanitary, unproductive, and pandering for compliments ALSO ME: someone brought their dog to work, omg! Who's a good boy? Someone needs all the pets, yes they do

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

You don't follow me because you only follow people whose posts you like or whom you interact with? Okay, sounds transactional.

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

I’m going to be an adult about this, I said, setting fire to another My Little Pony.

submitted 507 days ago • 0 comments